


The Beginning

by The100_stan



Category: The 100
Genre: Bellamy Blake - Freeform, Clarke Griffin - Freeform, Clexa, Eric Jackson - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Jackson The 100, Lincoln kom Trikru, M/M, Miller - Freeform, Miller the 100, Nathan Miller - Freeform, hedalexa, lexa - Freeform, lincoln - Freeform, octavia blake - Freeform, raven reyes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-01-04 05:59:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 39,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18337595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The100_stan/pseuds/The100_stan
Summary: It’s the year 2019 and Miller is 16 years old. He has decided that it’s time to come out to his friends and family. The reason why is Jackson. Jackson is his handsome and smart crush. Now his friends will help him impress Jackson and get his first boyfriend!





	1. Coming out

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first chapter of my first fic and I’m sorry if it’s not very good but I hope you enjoy anyway! It’s pretty sort but there will be more chapters!
> 
>  
> 
> I just fixed some of the spelling errors that I had noticed so I hope that makes the story better quality!

Chapter 1:

It’s just 2 words. Two little words. And if I’m completely being honest it’s only 5 letters, well and an apostrophe. Thats not the point though, why is this so hard? I mean he’s my dad! I’ve lived with him for the past 16 years, he knows me better than anyone right? He should already know so I don’t have to tell him! No I do. I just need to. If I want to tell Jackson how I really feel I need to tell him. I mean I’m sure he’ll be ok with it, I just don’t want anything to change between us. I’ll tell Octavia first she’ll understand and maybe it will make it easier. 

Later...

Miller: Hey Octavia!  
Octavia: Nate! What’s up?  
Miller: oh nothing much you know the usual, you know this and that *coughs* I’m gay *coughs*  
Octavia: what?  
Miller: I’m gay.  
Octavia: ok. That’s cool  
Miller so you’re ok with it like you don’t care?  
Octavia: I do care, I care about you. I mean it’s not like you’re a completely different person now. You are still Nate Miller, you are still and will always be my best friend.  
Miller: thank god. You just made me so happy thank you  
Octavia: I will always love you. So who is he?  
Miller: who?  
Octavia: you know exactly what I’m talking about now spill!  
Miller: fine! So, his name is Jackson, he goes to school with us, he’s so smart and kind, I’m pretty sure he wants to be a doctor because he takes all the Ap sciences and he aces all of them.  
Octavia: I have to go meet Lincoln but you’ll have to tell me more later. Bye love you!  
Miller: love you too!

At home...

Ok I can do this, I can do this. 

Miller: Dad, can we talk?  
David: yep! What’s up?  
Miller: well there is something I want to tell you  
...  
Miller: I’m gay  
David: ok  
Miller: really?  
David: is that a happy “really” or are you disappointed with my reaction?  
Miller: I’m so happy, thank you dad  
David: you are my son and I love you no matter what.  
Miller: I love you too dad  
David: now, go finish your homework  
Miller: got it!

The next day...

Octavia: sooooo did you tell him?  
Miller: what Jackson no, nope, can’t do that  
Octavia: no silly! Your dad did you tell him?  
Miller: oh! Yah I did tell him he was ok with it  
*grabbing him to hug him*  
Octavia: that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!

Lincoln walks up and I just kinda fade away to go to my locker to get my books for first period. I think about Jackson. I want to tell him, I just want to tell him so bad. What if he doesn’t like me back? I know he’s gay so that’s not a problem, but what if he has a boyfriend? Or I don’t even know what else could go wrong at this point. I just want him to feel the same way. It’s decided. I’m going to tell him, tomorrow. 

I make it through the rest if the school day with no problem except only thinking about Jackson. But I head home, do my homework and head to bed not yet prepared for tomorrow.


	2. Telling my friends and talking to him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller has told his dad and his best friend, Octavia. Now he thinks he’s ready to tell the rest of his friends, but he still doesn’t know if or when he’ll be ready to tell Jackson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a little longer. It goes into more detail about school life and the characters relationships which is something I really want to build on. I really love writing this story and I hope you enjoy!

I got up this morning ready to face the day, finally out of the closet. I’m the same person I was yesterday, and the day before, and last week, so it won’t be that different right? I mean I know that my friends don’t care and really Octavia is the only I really care to the hear the opinion of and she’s ok so that’s all that matters. I mean and Clarke’s bi, Bellamy is Octavia’s brother so she would slap him if he said anything, but he wouldn’t either way, Raven is you know, Raven so I’m all good. 

I get to school and oh my god. The first person I see if of course, Jackson. I wasn’t ready for this, I didn’t expect to see him until 3rd period which is physics. In no way am I good at physics, or any kind of science for that matter, so I use that as my excuse to talk to him because he’s so smart and he aces every class, but his favorites are Math and science, my two worst subjects and also the two classes we have together. I’m not really that great at school to be honest, I mean I’m pretty good at English but that’s really about it. Math and Science are the classes where I get Jackson help me, because I mean Clarke is good at those but it’s the only way I know how to talk to him. I wouldn’t survive Spanish if it weren’t for Octavia, and Bellamy quizzes me in history. English and P.E. are really the only things I’m good at. I play football and basketball, I made varsity freshman year so I would say I’m pretty good. Anyway, as soon as I see Jackson I kinda freeze and as soon as I realize I’m frozen I quickly put my head down and head to my locker. As soon as I get there it spot Octavia, our lockers are right next to each other. 

Octavia: Hey!  
Miller: hi  
Octavia: soooo, are you going to talk to Jackson?  
Miller: What? Oh god no. Not yet. I’m not ready  
Octavia: ok, ok. Cool  
Miller: I mean it’s not like I don’t talk to him. He helps me in math and science   
Octavia: I get it, baby steps  
Miller: maybe I should say something. But what? I don’t even know how to have a real conversation with him that doesn’t involve stupid equations!  
Octavia: if you want how about you invite him to eat lunch with us. Start there  
Miller: ok I’ll do that  
Octavia: ok I’ll see you later I’ve got to get to history! Love you!  
Miller: love you too!

I walk to English and I play the scenario of me asking him to eat lunch us in my head over and over. I think about every possibility. I can do it. He’ll say yes right? I hope so, but then again I don’t want him to. I feel so strange around him I’m not even sure if he notices. Whatever it will be just as friends. When I walk in the classroom I see an empty desk next to Lincoln and behind Raven, I sit down and greet them both. 

Miller: Hey l, so is it ok if I invite someone to eat lunch at our table?  
Lincoln: sure. Why not?  
Raven: yah. Who?  
Miller: ummmmm  
Raven: oh my god. Do you have a crush??? Is it your crush??? Who is it I must know. I mean I’m one of you best friends and I’m sure Octavia already knows. 

She’s right about that Octavia does know. But she’s only known for a couple of days so should I tell them? Maybe I should. Ok I need to man up. I’ll tell them. 

Miller: it’s um this guy, I don’t know if you know him.

Raven’s eyes widen and Lincoln’s head perks up. 

Miller: oh yah I guess I forgot to mention that I’m gay.   
Lincoln: ok. I mean it doesn’t bother me  
Raven: I always had a hunch   
Miller: really???  
Raven: no! I’m just not surprised  
Miller: oh ok, so anyway, um his name is Jackson. He’s super smart and he’s in my Science and Math classes.   
Raven: oooh ok him! I know who you’re talking about he’s cute and super sweet.   
Lincoln: I don’t have any class with him but he seems cool. 

We stop talking immediately when Mr. Jaha walks to the front of the room to start class. He’s a cool guy but super strict when it comes to talking in class. English class goes by slowly and I watch the clock almost the entire time my mind wondering, I don’t even know where. When the bell rings I hop up and walk outside the classroom to see Clarke and her girlfriend Lexa waiting. I guess they got out of whatever class they had early. Lexa has English that period and Clarke and I had history so we said goodbye to Lexa and walked to history where we meet Bellamy. We go into the classroom and sit down. Bellamy in the front row, me behind him, and Clarke beside me. I get both of their attention and look at the and tell them,

Miller: I’m gay  
Clarke: I mean you know that I don’t care  
Bellamy: You’re my sister’s best friend and one of mine. So I’m fine with it.   
Miller: so I actually have something else I wanted to ask. Can I invite someone to eat lunch with us?  
Bellamy: I’m cool with it  
Clarke: I mean should I really protest? I invited Lexa to eat with us with asking to group so I don’t care.   
Miller: ok cool that’s great 

Mr. Kane starts class and we all quit down. Bellamy obviously dominates the conversation because he already knows all of the answers, Clarke takes thorough notes like she does for every class, meanwhile I just think about next period. I’m going to ask him to eat with us. I can’t chicken out. I’m going to do it. The bell rings and my heart stops. It’s time. I walk to the Physics classroom and there he is. I take the seat next to him and he seems kind of surprised. I look at him and I just say it

Miller: Do you want to eat lunch with my friends and I?

I think he was caught off guard because he just kinda looks at me for a second. 

Jackson: sure, why me though?  
Miller: um because I think you’re cool and we never talk about anything other than science or math so I think this is an opportunity for us to be friends  
Jackson: ok. So do you want to walk to lunch together also?

Oh. My. God. He just said that. I think my heart might give out right here right now. Of course is what I want to say, but that would make me sound crazy and I don’t want to scare him off so I have to stay cool.

Miller: sure  
Jackson: cool

Miss. Griffin (Clarke’s mom) starts class and I have no idea what she’s saying. I can’t focus on physics right now I’m absolutely over the moon right now. Class trudges on until finally that glorious bell rings and it’s time for lunch.


	3. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for lunch! In the last chapter Miller invited Jackson to eat lunch at his table. He questions if it’s going well the entire time. Trying to make sure no one is uncomfortable he just goes about normal conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually checked this chapter for spelling errors and I hope I didn’t miss any! I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it! The next chapter will be soon!   
> Btw The is no schedule of when I post I just kinda post after I finish writing lol

As soon as the bell rang for lunch my heart started beating faster that ever. I’m going to lunch with Jackson. I can’t right now oh my god. This is literally a dream come true. We stand up and start walking. He doesn’t say anything, so I don’t say anything, maybe he’s waiting for me to say something? I hope he’s not. I don’t know what to say, I can barley think straight. It’s like a dream. When we get to the cafeteria and get our food I spot Octavia right away. She saved two sets next to her for us. 

Hey! She says with a knowing look on her face. I say hi back and we sit down. Jackson seems uncomfortable. Should I introduce him? Does he know everyone? Is it just courtesy? I’ll do it. God who am I. Everything I’m doing is so out of my comfort zone. 

I look at Jackson and say:

Miller: do you want me to introduce everyone?  
Jackson: um sure I guess I mean I know Raven but that’s it.   
Miller: ok. So everyone! This is Jackson!  
*pointing to everyone*  
This is Octavia, that’s Lincoln, that’s Bellamy, that’s Lexa, that’s Clarke, and you said you already know Raven! So yah that’s the group!

He still looks uncomfortable. What do I do? What should I say? I can’t just make small talk that would be even more weird. Ok I’m just going to go about normal lunch conversation. Yah, yah that’s good, right?

Miller: So, football tryouts for next season are soon. Which one of us do you think will be senior captain? Since you know we’ll be seniors next year. 

God I hope I didn’t screw that up.   
Bellamy and Lincoln perk up. 

Bellamy: I don’t know Miller I think it’s an easier question if you asked who wouldn’t be captain.   
Lincoln: I don’t know either. All I know is that we are going to need to start working out together soon.  
Octavia: I love all 3 of you, but I gotta say I think Nate has a good chance. 

Nate? Jackson mutters under his breath.   
Oh god. Why why why?! At school everyone calls me Miller. Don’t ask me why they just do. Octavia is the only one besides my dad who calls me Nate. I guess I never realized that the fact that my name is technically Nathan Miller isn’t as common of knowledge as I thought. 

Miller: Clarke how about you? Anything new in the science world?  
Clarke: not really. Other than The usual of how my mother quizzes me at home because she wants me to be a doctor.   
Miller: Lexa how about you? How’s softball season going?   
Lexa: great! I’m still pitcher and number one at bat, but Harper is improving greatly. Maybe she’ll be captain after we graduate.   
Octavia: so is anyone ready for out upcoming science test?   
Miller: crap. I completely forgot about that. So as usual I’m not ready.   
Jackson: don’t worry. I’ll help you out.  
Miller: as you always do.   
Bellamy: so I take it you’re a Science guy.   
Jackson: yep. It’s my favorite I want to go to med school and become a doctor.   
Bellamy: Yah I’m really more of a history guy.   
Miller: I’m only decent at English.   
Jackson: history is great too! Do you like world or U.S. history?  
Jackson: I’m sure that’s not true! I’m sure you great at lots of things.   
Bellamy: World history. Especially Ancient Rome that’s my favorite.   
Jackson: Ancient Rome is a great subject!   
Octavia: Lexa and I are more language people. I take Spanish with Nate, and she takes Latin and French.   
Lexa: that’s because I already know Spanish. Learning new languages is just one of my favorite things. I’m fluent in Spanish, German, and I’m getting there with French.   
Jackson: that’s cool! I take Latin. 

A few minutes pass and then Jackson and I stand up to go clear our plates. He seems happy. I hope so. 

Jackson: this has been really nice. Thank you for inviting me.   
Miller: oh no problem. I just thought that we don’t hang out enough so maybe we could change that.   
Jackson: I’d like that. So, do you want to hang out after school? 

My heart skips a beat.

Miller: yah. That sounds nice.   
Jackson: so we can meet at my house. Sound good?  
Miller: great.


	4. His House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller doesn’t know what to do with himself. None of this seems real. He’s at Jackson’s house and he doesn’t know if he should make a move or if Jackson just wants to be friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is so short! I’ve haven’t had that much time to write since I’ve been sick and catching up on school. The next chapter should longer!

I follow Jackson to his house and he waits for me in the front porch when I pull into the driveway. I guess his parents aren’t home since our cars are the only ones in the driveway. 

Jackson: Come on in. Do you want something to eat or drink?  
Miller: no thanks I’m good.  
Jackson: ok. Do you want to go to my room?  
Miller: sure

Oh my god. Oh my god. He leads me up the staircase and down the hallway. We walk into his room and oh my god it’s so freaking clean. My room is like a dumpster comparatively. 

Jackson: So this is it. 

It’s a pretty good size room so in the corner there is a small couch seated in front of a tv. We walk over there and sit. There is a noticeable gap between us, but I think that’s ok. He flips through channels and I just kind of sit there not knowing what to do or say. After about a minute he finds something to watch. He moves a little closer to me. 

Jackson: so... you said that football tryouts were coming up right?  
Miller: yep. They are in about a month so it’s time to start getting ready.   
Jackson: what’s the point of trying out every year when we already know that you’re going to make it.   
Miller: I mean I guess I’ve never thought of it that way, but there’s also no guarantee of anything.   
Jackson: that’s true I guess. 

He looks away from me and towards the tv. I move a little closer. I want to make a move. I want to let him know something, anything. I’m going to do it. Something small something that if I get rejected it won’t be the end of the world, I hope. 

I lift my arms up as if I were stretching them and I don’t do that stupid yawning thing I just reach up and as I bring my arms down I rest one on his shoulders. He doesn’t seem to mind. Actually he moves closer so that now our legs are touching. I’m so happy right now. I can’t believe this is happening. He lays his head down on my shoulder and I can’t help but smiling. We don’t say anything to each other we just sit there and watch the tv.


	5. Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller is so happy, and he’s truly happy for the first time. He finally has a boyfriend and everything is going great. Except he still hasn’t told his dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m super excited about this chapter and after this one I’m even more excited for those to come! I hope you enjoy it’s as much as I do! If you have any suggestions please comment!

Jackson: so, you’re officially out?  
Miller: what? How did you know?  
Jackson: please I’m not stupid.   
Miller: I mean, once I told Octavia I wasn’t that hard. It was still hard but it wasn’t like it was before  
Jackson: I get that. So what is this?

What does he mean? Does he just want to be friends? Do he like me too? Should I tell him? I think I should tell him. 

Miller: well, you’ve always been such a great friend to me and don’t get me wrong I’ve know that I’m gay for a while but, trying to hide that it was hard for me to realize that I didn’t just want to be your friend. I like you Jackson I really like you.   
Jackson: I like you too. Do you want something more?  
Miller: yes. I think I’m finally ready even though it took me a while to figure it out.   
Jackson: ok then. Are you going to do the official asking or shall I?  
Miller: Jackson, will you be my boyfriend?  
Jackson: yes, of course I will. 

He leans in and kisses me on the cheek and my heart flutters. I’m over the moon right now I’m so happy. We sit there talking for a little while longer. My dad starts texting to see if I’m ever coming home and that’s when we get up so I can leave. Jackson walks me to the door and watches from the porch as I drive off. I drive home pretty much and silence just thinking about Jackson, and how I have a boyfriend now. I want to take things slow. I don’t want to mess this up. I pull into my driveway, get out of the car and walk into my house to see that my dad has dinner ready. We talk all throughout dinner, dad asks about my day and how Octavia is is and how the friend is who’s house I want to after school. But I don’t tell him he’s my boyfriend, not yet. I’ll tell him soon I just want it to be the right time. After we clean up, I go upstairs to do homework and go to bed. Dad doesn’t really do much at night he usually just goes over case files (he’s a police officer) and goes to bed and he’s usually at work by the time I wake up to go to school, but we see each other a lot on the weekends so it’s not that bad. I finish my work and go to bed. I can’t wait to see Jackson tomorrow. I can’t wait to see Octavia, she’ll kill me if I don’t fill her in. 

The next morning....

I get out of bed, make myself breakfast, and get ready for school. I’m kinda nervous and I don’t know why. I check my phone and I see a text from Octavia. She wants me to come pick her up. Ok. This is actually kind of perfect. I can tell her on the way to school, I don’t have to wait. I get in my car and drive to the Blake’s house. Bellamy already left. Octavia gets the car and as soon as her seatbelt is on I start driving. 

Octavia: Hey!  
Miller: Hey!  
Octavia: So how was Jackson’s last night?  
Miller: good  
Octavia: good? That’s all I get! You know you have to tell me everything!  
Miller: well you know we hung out and we talked and everything.   
Octavia: did you tell him?  
Miller: Actually I did.   
Octavia: Oh my god! What did he say???  
Miller: He, uh he, said that he felt the same way. So now we’re kinda dating.   
Octavia: OH MY GOD IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! THIS IS AMAZING!!!  
Miller: *blushes* yah you’re not the only one with a boyfriend now.   
Octavia: I know and I’m so happy about it!

We talk nonstop all the way to school. God I love my best friend. She’s so amazing. She’s so happy for me. I’m so happy.this is going to be a great day.   
We walk into school and he’s wait at the door. Octavia smiles. He smiles at me. 

Jackson: Good Morning!  
Miller: Good morning to you too!

We end up walking together to Octavia’s and my lockers. I was busy getting my books out of my locker when I felt someone’s arm around my shoulder. I looked to my side and saw Jackson. I blushed so hard. I zipped my bag up and faced him still blushing. He winked at me and then we started to walk down the hallway. Mind you he’s still has his arm around my shoulders. He walks me to 1st period (well technically 6th) and Octavia just kinda drifts away when she spots Lincoln. We walk to the gym (I have P.E. and he has health) and we part ways at the entrance of the gym. He’s way bolder that I am. I wouldn’t do half of what I’ve done with ya nudge for Octavia. Technically in P.E. we are playing baseball but since I take it every year and football tryouts are coming up coach just let’s me go to the weight room. Exercising is kind of and escape for me, it gives me a chance to think. I think about Jackson. God I also think about physics. We have a test on Friday that I keep forgetting about. It’s just going to go how it always does and I’m either completely forget and just not study or I’ll cram the night before. I keep and eye on the clock because I have to leave 15 minutes early so I can shower and get ready for next period. When it’s time to go I walk to the locker room and of course, just my luck, standing beside my locker is Finn. God I hate him. Not only is he the most annoying person on the face of the earth he is majorly homophobic. He looks at me and says:

Finn: So got any girls in your life?  
Miller: We’re not friends so why do you care about my personal life?  
Finn: You know I don’t feel we ever have this friendship a fair shot.   
Miller: yah and there’s reasons for that.   
Finn: why because you’re gay?  
Miller: yah I’m gay so what. Like I said we’re not friends so it shouldn’t matter to you.   
Finn: Well it does matter to me and I just thought you should know that the girls locker room is that way. 

He walks away with a smirk on his face. I just roll my eyes and open my locker. I shower and get dressed, I leave the locker room and I walk to the health room. I wait in the hallway until Jackson comes out. Apparently Clarke is also in that class. When Jackson walks out we greet each other and I grab his hand. We wait for Clarke and she seems surprised to see me. We all walk to our next class talking as a group the whole way there, Jackson and I are holding hands the whole way there. My next class is study hall and I just so happen to have it with Clarke. We stop at the study hall room and say bye to Jackson as he continues on to his next class. Clarke looks at me and smiles. 

Clarke: looks like someone has a boyfriend.   
Miller: *nudging her shoulder and blushing* shut up   
Clarke: what you two are cute!

We talk all through study hall and don’t get any actual work done. When class is over I just walk to English like normal and sit with Lincoln and Raven like normal. When class ends I walk out to see Jackson and Octavia waiting for Lincoln and me. We walk to lunch together, each couple holding hands and we talk nonstop. When we sit down at our table our entire group buzzes with chatter. The rest is the day is great. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. I have the weight of my secret lifted off of me and I have a boyfriend, who was my crush, who actually liked (likes) me back. The day ends and I drive home with a smile on my face the entire time. My dad makes a comment about how I seem happy and I just smiled and agreed. I’m still not going to tell him yet, but soon. I will soon.


	6. The Double Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia convinces Miller to go on a double date! Everything is going really well and then things escalate quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter! I had a few friends help me out on this one so it’s kinda interesting.

Jackson and I have been dating for about two weeks now. It’s been the most amazing two weeks. I decided when I’ll tell my dad, I’m going to tell him in a few days. But it’s going to be soon. It’s a Saturday and for some reason I let Octavia talk me into a double date with her and Lincoln. Double dates never end well everyone knows this. I’m scared. I’m driving to Jackson’s to pick him up right now. I pull into the driveway, get out of the car and go knock on the door. He opens it and greets me. He says goodbye to his mom and we walk to the car and get in. 

Jackson: how are you?  
Miller: I’m great now that I’m with you  
Jackson: I am too  
Miller: so I decided when I’m going to tell my dad  
Jackson: that’s great! When?  
Miller: soon. Within the next few days. He doesn’t work that much on the weekends so I get to see him more. And I want you to meet him.   
Jackson: I would love that. I mean it’s not like you haven’t met my mom dozens of times already.   
Miller: true. But you know I’m super nervous.   
Jackson: don’t be nervous. I’m sure he’ll be like all of your friends, happy for you.   
Miller: you always know what to say.

We continue talking all the way to the restaurant. If the fact that it’s a double date isn’t bad enough, this is the restaurant where Clarke works. Oh god. We walk inside and see Octavia and Lincoln right away. I sit across from Octavia and Jackson sits next to me. Please don’t let this be weird. Please! Oh but it gets worse. As it turns out Clarke is our waitress. Now don’t get me wrong I love Clarke, but I was already nervous for this and it’s just not what I needed right now. I’m looking around the room at the decorations all over the walls when I spot Finn sitting with a group of his friends. Yep. I was right double dates are always a disaster. 

We go through dinner and everything is fine. Everything is good. It’s not going as horribly as I thought it would. Jackson is holding my hand under the table and I can tell Octavia is doing the same thing with Lincoln. This is actually really nice. I’ll tell my dad when I get home. I’ll tell him all about Jackson, Jackson and his sweet, smart amazing self. We finished dinner and we walk together out of the restaurant, all four of us. When we walk out the first thing we see is, oh god, is Finn. Why? This was going so well. 

Finn: Look it’s the love birds  
Lincoln: No one asked you to join us Finn just go away.   
Finn: oh I’m sorry, but last time I checked I wasn’t looking for your opinion  
Miller: What do you want Finn?   
Finn: Me? Oh nothing I just wanted to tell you that people like you are what’s wrong with the world.  
Octavia: God why can’t you just learn to shut the fuck up.   
Miller: Whatever. Do I look like I care what you think?

We continue walking to my car when the next thing I know was Finn was tapping me on the shoulder. I turned to see what this asshole wanted. Then my jaw was throbbing. He hit me. He seriously hit me. My night was going great and this excuse of human shows up. I look up and Lincoln is charging at Finn. Lincoln hit him back. Only thing is Lincoln is so much bigger then Finn. Finn has no chance. Now do I want Lincoln fighting my battles for me. No. He’s my friend and I’m thankful he stood up for me. Jackson pulls me towards him. He gently puts his hand on my cheek. He looks at me with worry in his eyes.

Jackson: Oh my god. are you ok?

I lean my face into his hand. 

Miller: I’m ok.   
Jackson: god. What the hell is his problem.   
Miller: well he doesn’t like me to begin with and when I came out I just got worse.   
Jackson: *rolls his eyes*

We say good night to Octavia and Lincoln. I thank Lincoln and we go to my car. We get in and start driving to Jackson’s house. 

Miller: When I get home I’m going to tell my dad about us.   
Jackson: That’s great! I’m so glad you’re finally ready.   
Miller: Me too. 

We get to his house and I walk him to the front door. He looks at me for a second. He smiles. And then he leans closer and kisses me. Me heart skips a beat. I can’t breathe. I’m savoring this moment in my mind. I never want to forget it. He tells me good night and goes into his house. I walk to my car feeling light as a feather. I’m so happy. Besides getting punched in the face this night was amazing. I drive home and when I get there the lights are still on so my dads still up. I’m going to tell him about Jackson. 

Miller: Hey dad! I’m home!

I walk into the living room and sit on the couch next to him. 

David: Hey! How was third wheeling Lincoln and Octavia again?  
Miller: I actually wasn’t third wheeling tonight. 

I take a deep breath. 

Miller: I have a boyfriend.   
David: that’s great! I mean I noticed that you’ve seemed happier lately.   
Miller: I have been.   
David: so tell me about him.   
Miller: Well, his name is Jackson, and he’s actually pretty much the reason I haven’t failed Science.   
David: Well that’s a good thing! He’s sounds great.   
Miller: You’ll have to meet him soon.   
David: I would like that.   
Miller: I love you dad.   
David: I love you too Nate. 

I go upstairs to go to bed. Again this night has been amazing aside from being punched in the face. Jackson and I had out first real kiss, not just on the cheek, and I told my dad. I go to bed with a huge smile on my face.


	7. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a few days since everything that happened at the restaurant. Miller is happy and life is going great for him. That is, until, he gets news that changes his mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know last chapter was let’s say, interesting, but this chapter I’m actually super excited about! Comment any ideas or notes you have!

Well as it turns out life WAS going great for me. It’s been a few days since Jackson and I had our first kiss and you know things like have been going really well and we’ve been spending a lot of time together and I’ve been really happy. Until today. Today my dad decided to let me know that my grandmother is coming into town. That woman hates me and that’s not an exaggeration. Nothing I do is ever good enough for her and I don’t even know why. To make it even better she gets here on Thursday which is tomorrow and Friday is football tryouts. Yay for me! I walk into school trying to act normal and not completely pissed off about this. I walk to my lock where Jackson and Octavia are talking while she gets her books. They have gotten pretty close lately. I’m happy about that. Well I’m glad that they don’t hate each other. 

Jackson: Hey!  
Octavia: Hey!  
Miller: hi. How are you guys?  
Jackson: fine. How are you? 

He leans and and kisses me on the cheek. 

Miller: I’m good.  
Jackson: well, I’m sorry that I can’t stay longer I have to go help someone out in a Science lab.  
Miller: oh ok. I’ll see you later then. 

He leaves and Octavia looks at me knowingly. 

Octavia: What’s wrong?  
Miller: nothing  
Octavia: Nate I’m your best friend. I know when something is wrong now tell me.  
Miller: My grandmother is coming to town tomorrow.  
Octavia: oh. I’m sorry I know she makes you feel like crap  
Miller: Yah. I just need to focus on football tryouts and I’ll be fine  
Octavia: ok I’ll see you after you get out of English. I got to go. We’ll walk to lunch together  
Miller: ok see you then

She walks away and I grab my stuff for gym and study hall from my locker. I walk over to the gym. Alone. I don’t know what’s up with everyone. They’re acting weird. Whatever, it’ll be fine I’ll hang out with Clarke in Study Hall and maybe she can help me figure it out. 

This class period goes pretty quickly. Before I know it it’s time to go. I walk to the locker room and of course there’s Finn standing at my locker. God I’m so sick of him. I haven’t even seen him in like almost a week. I sigh and walk to my locker

Finn: Miller! It’s been a while. How you been? 

I don’t respond

Finn: You know I hope your jaw isn’t still sore

I glare at him

Finn: This conversation is feeling very one sided.  
Miller: that’s because it is  
Finn: And he speaks!  
Miller: God. Why are you even talking to me? We’re not friends

He smirks at me. God. I don’t even know what his problem is. He’s always hated me and I’ve never given him a reason to. Wait a second what the hell is he doing. He shoves my head against the locker. What the actual fuck. 

Finn: Miller you know why we’re not friends?  
Miller: *struggling trying to get loose from Finn’s grip* you’re an asshole and I’m not?  
Finn: no it’s because I happen to be good at reading people. And you’re toxic. And as it turns out I was right since you turned out to be gay.  
Miller: *shoves Finn’s hand away and faces him* shut the fuck up Finn. You know I’ve never done anything to you and just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. My bad that I’m not good enough for YOU but your opinion doesn’t ever cross my mind. So why don’t you just leave me alone and worry about your damn self

I grab my stuff from my locker and slam it shut.  
When I come back from the shower he’s gone. Thank god. My locker looks in tacked. I put my stuff up and grab everything for study hall. When I walk out to the hallway Jackson is waiting for me. Thank god. I need to see him.  
He grabs my hand and we start walking. 

Jackson: Hey Nate!

Oh yah. I’ve added him to the short list of people allowed to call me Nate. 

Miller: Hey! So, how was class?  
Jackson: it was great! How was the weight room?  
Miller: it was fine. Normal I guess.  
Jackson: Are you ok? You’re acting weird.  
Miller: it’s nothing. I’m fine. 

He stops in the middle of the hallway to face me. 

Jackson: Fine don’t tell me now but, you’ll tell me later. Let’s hang out after school. Your house?  
Miller: that sounds great.  
Jackson: Good!

We continue walking and talking. I start to smile. Of course he can make me feel better. He’s so adorable. Clarke is standing at the doorway of the study hall class room. I tell Jackson bye and greet Clarke. She also seems slightly excited when she sees us holding hands walking down the hall. I don’t know why. 

Clarke: So hows gay life going for you? 

She laughs  
I laugh too

Miller: it’s great. How’s being bi going?  
Clarke you know it’s great. My girlfriend is great.  
Miller: Really? My boyfriend is pretty great too.  
Clarke: I’m sure he is. So how’s life going?  
Miller: it’s going fine. You?  
Clarke: What do you mean fine? Not wonderful? Not fantastic? Spill. What’s up?  
Miller: I’m just kinda stressed. Football tryouts are Friday, and my grandmother is coming to town tomorrow and you know how that always goes  
Clarke: oh. I’m sorry. God and you don’t even mention that your own birthday is on Saturday.  
Miller: huh. I guess it is. I’m sorry that I’ve had a lot on my mind like football, actually having a boyfriend, and you know not completely failing high school.  
Clarke: yah, yah. I guess you’re right. But not the point are you going to do anything to celebrate?  
Miller: probably not.  
Clarke: What? Why?! Not even hanging out with Jackson?? Nothing?  
Miller: I don’t know maybe. Again, I haven’t really actually thought about it.  
Clarke: Fair enough.  
Miller: So, hows Lexa? She’s missed lunch for the past two days I feel like I haven’t seen her in forever.  
Clarke: she’s good. You know the usual  
Miller: that’s great. 

We’re actually slightly productive this class period. Which is an improvement considering we talk pretty much the entire time. When it’s time to go to the next class she walks me to English. We’ve gotten a lot closer lately. Actually ever since I came out I feel like I’m closer to everyone in our group. I don’t know I guess it’s because I’m not hiding anything from them anymore. I take my usual seat by Lincoln and Raven. We don’t really have time to talk because class starts almost immediately. English kind of drags on today. The first two classes flew by but now it feels never ending. Finally we’re dismissed and as promised Octavia is waiting for us at the door. 

Octavia: Hey! How are you doing?

She is surprisingly walking with me and not holding hands with Lincoln for once. Oh god I What’s happening? Is she just that worried or is it something else?

Miller: Fine. Gym kinda sucked, but study hall was good and English just lasted forever.  
Octavia: I’m glad you seem better. 

She grabs Lincoln’s hand. Thank god. There’s nothing wrong with them, I don’t know what I would do if there was. Jackson is waiting outside the cafeteria for us. We greet him and get our food. We sit down with the rest of the group. Lincoln and Octavia are still holding hands. Jackson grabs my hand and Clarke grabs Lexa’s hand. Raven and Bellamy roll their eyes. Neither of them have had the best luck in relationships lately. They don’t seem to care that much because they focus so much on other things but they roll their eyes at any signs of PDA. 

Miller: Sooo, football tryouts are Friday. How are you guys feeling about them?  
Lincoln: I’m feeling great. I’m just ready for the season.  
Bellamy: don’t forget preseason. We’ll be here a lot this summer for practice.  
Lincoln: Are any of you going to come watch tryouts?  
Octavia: I’ll be there  
Lexa: I can’t. There’s a game on Friday.  
Clarke: Yah. I’ll be at that, but I would be there is I wasn’t!  
Jackson: I’ll be there. 

He smiles at me. I smile back and blush a little. 

Raven: Sure why not I’ll go.  
Miller: Great! We won’t be lacking in fans.  
Bellamy: We definitely won’t. That’s for sure. 

We keep talking throughout lunch, but with about 10 minutes left Octavia and Jackson both get up and go somewhere. They confuse me. I don’t even know what they would be talking about. Yep it’s going back to this morning with everyone acting weird. 

The rest of the day goes by pretty slowly. Until it’s finally over and I get to go home and spend time with my boyfriend. After school I text him the address and he says he’ll meet me there. I go home and I guess I should probably tell my dad that he’s coming over. Miner details. I go inside and dad is as I suspected, working. 

Miller: Hey dad!  
David: Nate! How was your day?  
Miller: it was fine. 

He gets up and walks to the kitchen where I am. 

David: Did anything interesting happen?  
Miller: not really. Oh and by the way Jackson is coming over for a little bit.  
David: ok. I’ll be finishing up in my office.  
Miller: ok. Cool. 

Dad goes back to his office and there a knock on the front door. He’s here. I go to the door and open it.  
I invite him in and he kisses me. My heart flutters. 

Miller: Do you want anything to eat?  
Jackson: no thanks. I’m fine  
Miller: ok. Do you want to go upstairs?  
Jackson: sure

We walk upstairs to my room. I grab his hand and we go sit on my bed. We talk. We talk about everything. I love being able to share everything with someone other than Octavia. Don’t get me wrong I love Octavia, it’s just nice to have this. After a while I turn the tv on and I lay my head in his shoulder. We talk a little more and after a couple of hours, I lift my head up to look at him. He looks at me and kisses me. We lay down on my bed and continue kissing. I’m so happy. We end up just laying there, with his arms wrapped around me. I can’t help but smile. I’m calm, I’m happy. I’m actually half asleep when the doorbell rings. We both pop our heads up. I’m confused? Who would be ringing the doorbell? We’re not expecting anyone until tomorrow right? That’s when I hear footsteps walking downstairs. Dad yells upstairs: 

David: Nate your Grandmother is here!

Oh god. I should have known that tomorrow means tonight for her.  
Jackson and I sit up. I let out a breathy sigh. 

Jackson: I thought you said she wasn’t getting here until tomorrow.  
Miller: That’s because she isn’t supposed to be here until tomorrow!  
Jackson: Well do you want me to go?  
Miller: No. Please stay. I need someone to help me stay sane.  
Miller: I guess I should go say hi. 

I walk downstairs and I greet her. She hugs me. 

Grandmother: Nate, my precious boy! Look at you!  
Miller: Hi grandma  
Grandmother: I haven’t seen you in forever! You changed so much! David was just telling me about how you’re in a relationship! I want to meet her!

Oh god. I forgot that she doesn’t know I’m gay. Well this is going to be even more fun than before. And the best part is my boyfriend is upstairs. Yay for me! This is just a great day....


	8. Can I tell her? Are we ready for tryouts?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller has to tell his grandmother about Jackson even though he doesn’t know how she’ll react. Lincoln, Miller and Bellamy are also getting ready for Football Tryouts! They practice and go to dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors! I’m still not the best at this, but I hope you enjoy and I have a lot more to come!

In any other situation I would laugh at the look on my dad’s face. In short he’s speechless. Well guess what dad I am too. We both forgot that she didn’t know and now we don’t know what to say considering he’s upstairs. Should I sneak him out the window. Should I come clean about it? Jackson and I can talk about this later. I’m not really sure what to do at this point. 

David: ok mom I’ll take you to the guest bedroom.   
Grandmother: Ok. We’ll be back in a few minutes Nate.  
Miller: Sounds great. Dad will help you get set up.

I give dad a look that kinda says I’ll take care of Jackson. He just stares back at me. I don’t know if he gets it but at this point that’s the least of my worries. Whatever I’ll sneak him out and tell my grandmother later. I go upstairs to get him. 

Miller: hey. I’m back and unfortunately I completely forgot about the fact that I never came out to my grandmother  
Jackson: Wow. I mean I guess you didn’t see a reason to. So I’ll go then.   
Miller: Yah. I’m sorry....Don’t get me wrong I really want you to stay. 

I look up and see Jackson staring at me his face full of question.

Miller: I’ll tell her. I promise. Especially since she wants to meet you, but the only problem with that is....well she thinks you’re a girl.  
Jackson: It’s ok. I guess. I understand. I had a nice time with you anyway.  
Miller: I didn’t know she would be here tonight. Thanks for being so understanding about it though.   
Jackson: Of course! I’ll see you later okay.   
Miller: Okay thanks for coming over. I’ll walk you out. 

We walk quietly downstairs to the front door. And we walk out onto the front porch. I kiss him goodbye and watch as he gets into his car. When he pulls out of the driveway I go back inside and it’s a good thing that he left when he did because my dad and grandmother are sitting in the living room waiting for me. I sit down on the couch. 

Grandmother: So when do I get to meet this girl?  
Miller: Well actually, there’s only one girl in my life and that’s Octavia. She has a boyfriend, and so do I.   
Grandmother: What?  
Miller: I’m gay. 

I whisper that sentence. As if I’m just saying it to myself.

Grandmother: Hold on. What did you say.  
Miller: I’m gay.   
This time saying it with full confidence.

She gets up and walks to the guest bedroom. Dad looks at me with a straight face. 

David: I’m sorry Nate.   
Miller: it’s fine. It’s not like I’m good enough for her anyway.  
David: that’s not true!

Except it is. I’m pretty sure the only reason she was being nice to me was because she thought I finally had a girlfriend. Yah nope that’s not gonna happen.   
She comes back into the room. 

Grandmother: David, can you give us a minute?  
David: of course *he gets up and goes to his office*  
Grandmother: So, tell me about him.   
Miller: Really?  
Grandmother: Of course. If he makes you happy then I’m happy. 

I smile

Miller: His name is Jackson. He’s smart, and sweet. And pretty much the reason I haven’t failed science.   
Grandmother: He sounds great. How long have you two been dating.   
Miller: Um almost 3 weeks.   
Grandmother: I want to meet him. And Octavia. Because it seems to me that other than family they are the most important people in your life.   
Miller: they are. I don’t know when though because I’m meeting some friends after school tomorrow and Friday is football tryouts.   
Grandmother: How about Saturday? That’s your birthday! We can go to dinner, you, me, Jackson, Octavia, and your father.   
Miller: Sure. That’s great.   
Grandmother: David! You can come back!

My dad comes back into the room and sits down next to me. 

Grandmother: So David, on Saturday for Nate’s birthday we are going to go out to dinner. It’s going to be the 3 of us, Jackson and, Octavia.   
David: that sounds great!  
David: ok Nate, go finish your homework. 

I get up and go. I walk upstairs and when I get to my bedroom door I hear them talking:

David: So you’re ok with him?  
Grandmother: Of course not! But he’s my grandson so I’m going to support him even if I don’t agree. Are you ok with it?  
David: Of course I am! He’s my son! I don’t have a problem with it in general! There is no one in this world that I love more than him and this is the happiest I’ve seen him since his mom died. As long as he’s happy I don’t care what he is, I’m happy. And you shouldn’t care either.   
Grandmother: Well I do care and I’m not ok with him being gay, but like I said he’s my grandson and if he’s happy then I will support him. 

I tear up a little. What my grandmother is saying breaks my heart a little but hearing my dad I can’t help but smile. I know that he’s always in my corner, but that really put it into perspective for me. 

It’s Thursday, I get up for school, and to be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about today. I know that most of my week has been pretty good. Except yesterday. But today I’m not sure yet. I go downstairs, my dad is already at work and my grandmother is still sleeping. Oh god I just realized that she is going to be alone in my house all day. Whatever I’ve got nothing to hide. I just don’t like other people going through my stuff and I’m sure she will. I go to school like I always do and when I get there Octavia is waiting for me. Kinda surprising because she always waits by our lockers but today she’s at the door. 

Octavia: Hey! So. I know that you are probably not ready for today. But as you know I’m here for you!   
Miller: She got here last night.   
Octavia: Of course she did. She’s always here before she’s supposed to be. So what happened?

We start walking to our lockers. 

Miller: Well I had Jackson over when she showed up.   
Octavia: ooo. That must have been a hard one to get past.   
Miller: Well I greeted her and my dad took her to the guest room and I took Jackson out of the house. I got lucky with that one. And then when I came back into the house, as it turns out my dad said something about me being in a relationship and she assumed I had a girlfriend.   
Octavia: oh god  
Miller: So I told her the truth. I said that there is a girl in my life but she’s my best friend, you, and that you have a boyfriend. I continued saying that I also have a boyfriend. I told her that I’m gay.   
Octavia: How did she take it?  
Miller: Well she got up and walked out for a few minutes but when she came back she seemed ok and told my dad to leave the room. And then she decided that for my birthday she wants to have dinner with, you, me, her, my dad, and Jackson. And for some odd reason I agreed to it!  
Octavia: but that’s not a bad thing is it? Isn’t it good that she’s ok with it? And why am I included in this?  
Miller: Well she said that as far as she could tell you and Jackson are the most important people in my life that aren’t family. And she’s not ok with it.   
Octavia: What do you mean she’s not ok with it? I thought she was.   
Miller: well my dad sent me upstairs to finish my homework and I overheard them talking and she told my dad that she wasn’t ok with it but since I’m her grandson she’s going to try her best to support me.   
Octavia: Well that’s good isn’t it that she’s not disowning you or anything?  
Miller: I mean I guess. But I would rather her not lie to my face like that and tell me that she is ok with it when she’s not.   
Octavia: I understand where you’re coming from. So what are you going to do?  
Miller: I don’t know. 

By now we are at our lockers and when I open mine Jackson comes to greet us. 

Miller: Hey!  
Jackson: Hey! So is everything ok?  
Miller: Yah. Everything is fine. I actually told her.   
Jackson: Really? How did it go?  
Miller: It went fine. Actually she wants to have dinner with the 3 of us and my dad for my birthday on Saturday.   
Jackson: Oh. Ok. You know I’ll be there.   
Octavia: I will too. 

Lucky for me Clarke walks up and takes Jackson to talk about some science thing. Octavia gives me a disapproving look. 

Octavia: Are you not going to tell him!  
Miller: I will! I will! Soon.   
Octavia: it better be before Saturday Nate. You need to be honest with him.   
Miller: I know. But I’m going to wait a little bit. He doesn’t have to know right away. 

Clarke and Jackson come back with pretty much perfect timing because it’s time to go to class and I have my first class with Clarke. I kiss Jackson on the cheek and Clarke and I walk to the history classroom. 

Clarke: So is your grandmother here yet?  
Miller: Yep. She got here last night.   
Clarke: how’s it going? Is there any verbal abuse?  
Miller: Actually no. She was actually being super nice to me because she thought I had a girlfriend. But now she’s being super weird because I told her that I will never have a girlfriend and that I have a boyfriend.   
Clarke: Wow. How did she take it?   
Miller: I mean to my face she was fine with it, but I know she not.   
Clarke: oh that sucks.   
Miller: I mean at least she didn’t catch me and Jackson kissing because that was what was interrupted when she got there.   
Clarke: That probably would have been bad.   
Miller: No kidding. It would have been awkward and she would have flipped out. 

Clarke and I get to the point in our conversation where we just start making jokes and we join Bellamy at the door to the history room. History today is actually pretty good. I mean it’s normal. With Bellamy answering all the questions while me and Clarke try to figure out what we are actually talking about. I’m pretty sure it’s the Civil rights movement. I’m not really sure at this point. When class is over I head to the science room and take the seat next to Jackson. We’re doing a lab today which is great especially since we get to have partners and I don’t have to fail because I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. Jackson just explains it to me and I try to help. Soon enough it’s time for math. Jackson and I also have math together. Yah I still don’t understand math. That class drags on as it always does. When it’s finally time for lunch we meet Clarke and Lexa and walk to the cafeteria. Their class was close to ours. When we get to the cafeteria and take our seats right away Bellamy looks at me and Lincoln and says:

Bellamy: Are we still meeting this afternoon? Tryouts are tomorrow.   
Lincoln: yep we are as far as I know.   
Miller: yep I’m still free.   
Bellamy: Good!  
Raven: Why exactly are you guys meeting?  
Lincoln: well we’re going to the gym and to look over plays and have a mini practice. We do this every year before tryouts.   
Bellamy: Yep and every year we’ve made the team and we’ve been starters.   
Raven: I don’t really think that this one meeting makes a difference. Are you sure your not just better that everyone else there?  
Miller: Raven please don’t ruin our tradition for us.   
Raven: ok. I’m just curious.   
Octavia: Sooo. Nate’s Birthday is Saturday. Are we going to celebrate tomorrow at lunch?  
Miller: please no.   
Jackson: please yes! We have too!  
Miller: Fine but we aren’t having cake. Lincoln, Bellamy and I cant have too much junk and sugar before tryouts.   
Lexa: then what do you want your candle in? Do you want us to stick it in a piece of celery? Or something?  
Bellamy: Can’t we do it on Monday so we can have cake?   
Octavia: Fine. But it’s going to be the best cake you’ve ever had.   
Miller: Then you better not make it because we all know how that goes

I laugh. She hits my shoulder and tries not to laugh because she know it’s true. Octavia can’t cook to save her life. Neither can Bellamy. That’s one thing about the Blake siblings, they can’t cook.   
Lunch ends and the day after that is pretty slow after that. I have Spanish with Octavia after lunch. Spanish is pretty much the same as usual. Octavia actually pays attention and I zone out for most of it. I think about my grandmother, but I mainly think about Jackson. I need to tell him. I’ll tell him tomorrow. Today I’ll be with Lincoln and Bellamy at the gym and that’s what I need to focus on. Last class is gym for me so I just get dressed, go to the weight room and I don’t even bother going back to the locker room because I’m not in the mood to deal with Finn today. 

Finally it’s time to go. I leave the gym and I text Lincoln and Bellamy to make sure the plan hasn’t changed. Lincoln responds and says that we have the same plan. We all meet at Lincoln’s house to go over plays. This part is always fun because we have snacks and gatorade. We also have a competition to see who can memorize plays the fastest. I play safety, Lincoln is a defensive tackle, and Bellamy is a corner back. We all play defense which is great. I love hanging out with Lincoln and Bellamy, even if we only talk about football it’s still nice. It’s just different with them than it is always hanging out with Clarke, Raven, and Octavia. I don’t know it’s just a good different that I’ve always enjoyed. 

Lincoln: So who do you think is going to be team captain?  
Bellamy: I’m still not sure  
Miller: I don’t know either but I’m not thinking my chances look good. Besides it will probably be the quarterback  
Lincoln: Well someone’s negative today.   
Miller: What? It’s the truth. I’m a safety. Why the hell would they make me captain?  
Bellamy: Hey there’s still a chance. And you know that they always pay attention to preseason to decide on captain so that they have a decision made by August.   
Miller: Yah, but it’s more likely to be one of you two. You guys are better leaders than I am.   
Lincoln: We’ll just all play our asses of and see who they pick, if it’s one of us great, if it’s not great. 

Lincoln is always the logical one.   
For about another hour we go over plays and watch tape. We talk a little, but whenever we talk it’s never about anything personal, like relationships or anything. Mainly because I’m gay so they don’t really get that, Bellamy has horrible lunch with girls, and Lincoln is dating Bellamy’s sister. It just might end up as an awkward conversation, but who knows I guess we’ve never really bothered to talk about it. When we are done with game tape we go to the gym. I mean I’ve already worked out today, but it’s tradition. We always watch tap, work out and then we go to dinner together. We go to the same restaurant every year. It’s called A Slice of Italy. It’s this local pizza place. We work out for maybe two hours, we shower, and then we all go to dinner. At dinner something weird happens. I mean at least for the 3 of us. Bellamy brings up a girl. I know it doesn’t sound weird but like said we don’t really talk about that stuff.

Bellamy: So I’ve been talking to this girl  
Miller: Really? What’s her name?  
Bellamy: Her name is Gina.  
Lincoln: Does she go to our school?  
Bellamy: um yah she’s in my history and English classes.   
Miller: Oh yah. She usually sits in the row behind me. She’s cute. And nice from what I can tell I’ve never really talked to her that much before.   
Lincoln: I don’t think I have any classes with her, but she sounds cool.  
Bellamy: She’s cool  
Miller: Then why don’t you ask her out?  
Bellamy: I don’t know. I don’t really have the best luck with girls. I mean look at you two! Lincoln and Octavia have been dating for a long time and Miller you have a boyfriend. Hell you’re gay and you had better luck with girls than I do.   
Miller: I wouldn’t say that’s true considering for like the past year I completely avoided the topic of girls with anyone.   
Bellamy: Fair enough. But speaking of which, how are things with Jackson?  
Lincoln: I’m curious too.

What the hell is going on with these two. We never talk about this kind of stuff. Bellamy brings up a girl and now they want to hear about my boyfriend?! I honestly thought that it was just going to be another thing that we don’t talk about, but apparently not. Apparently they’re curious and want to know, which only slightly confuses me. 

Miller: I mean good. I don’t really know what you want to hear.   
Lincoln: Well, we don’t really get to hang out with him and to get to know him like you and Octavia do, so just tell us about him.   
Bellamy: yah and maybe some time the 4 of us could have dinner.

These two are really confusing me to be honest. First Bellamy talks about liking a girl (lol can’t relate) and now they seem to want to know everything about Jackson. What the hell! Why are all my friends acting so weird. I mean what’s next? Are they going to ask me about our first kiss? If we’ve had sex yet? If I love him? Why can’t we quiz Lincoln? I would like that a lot more. That might be a little weirder considering I’m Octavia’s best friend and Bellamy is her brother. I mean they don’t really know Jackson so I guess the curiosity makes sense but it’s still strange. 

Miller: I mean you guys know that he’s smart and sweet because you eat lunch with him everyday, but I don’t know. He just is one of the people who never fails to make me smile. He always knows what to say to me even if he doesn’t know what’s going on with me.   
Bellamy: So basically if I actually want to be a good boyfriend I should talk to him for advice

Bellamy grins and laughs a little. I laugh too. This is actually kinda nice. 

Lincoln: God. I hope that Octavia talks about me like this because that makes me want to date him. 

I laugh at that. 

Miller: Don’t worry, she does. So why the sudden curiosity?  
Lincoln: I mean we’re almost seniors and we have literally never talked about anything personal before. Especially you. I don’t know I just feel like if we had even tried to talk about personal stuff, relationships and whatever maybe it would have given you a better opportunity to come out sooner and not have to hide it for so long.   
Bellamy: And I know that if I were you I would think that with both of us being straight it would make us uncomfortable or something, but it doesn’t, and we don’t want you to have no one to talk to or only have the girls to talk to.   
Miller: Thank you guys! I just want you to know that me not coming out didn’t have anything to do with either of you. I just wasn’t ready and it took me a long time to be sure of anything, but I’m glad I did.   
Bellamy: Well you know that we are here for you.  
Lincoln: And if you ever need help kicking someone’s ass, well Octavia will probably be first in line, but we’ll be right there with you.   
Miller: We all know that Octavia will be the fist one in line even before me and let’s be honest that’s even worse because that girl is scary.   
Bellamy: You’re telling me, I live with her. 

We all laugh at that. Dinner is really nice. The three of us haven’t talked like this in years. We talk the entire time not leaving a moment of silence. When we’re done we go our separate ways home. It’s late when I get home, but my dad is still up. And so apparently is my grandmother, of course. 

David: Hey Nate! How was dinner?  
Miller: It was great  
Grandmother: Who did you eat dinner with?   
Miller: My friends, Bellamy and Lincoln.  
Grandmother: Oh so Jackson wasn’t there?  
Miller: No, it was just the 3 of us.  
Grandmother: ok then…  
David: Well, are you guys ready for tryouts?  
Miller: yep! We went over just about every play possible. We’re feeling pretty confident.   
David: You’ll do great! You guys always do!  
Miller: I should probably get some rest there’s a lot going on tomorrow.   
David: ok good night!  
Grandmother: Goodnight!

I walk upstairs toward my room and when they think I can’t hear they start talking.

Grandmother: So those boys are straight?  
David: Yep, and it doesn’t really matter. They’re just Nate’s friends they’ve hung out here for years.  
Grandmother: Are we sure he wasn’t with that boyfriend of his?  
David: Would you stop. Nate’s a good kid, I trust him and there is nothing wrong with Jackson. He’s a good kid too. He does this every year. He goes over plays with Bellamy and Lincoln, they work out and then they have dinner. Nate wouldn’t ditch that tradition. They are some of his best friends. And would you please just leave Jackson alone? He hasn’t done anything.   
Grandmother: That may be but I don’t know how I feel about him.   
David: You’ve never met him! He’s a 17 year old boy, he doesn’t effect your life.  
You know what. I know why you don’t trust hime, don’t like him what ever! It’s because you think he turned Nate gay. Well I hate to break it to you nut he make my son happy and he didn’t turn him gay. Nate is just trying to be who he really is, so just leave him alone. 

God. Why does she have to talk about Jackson like he’s a bad person. And asking about Lincoln and Bellamy like that. Really?? They are literally just friends! I’m honest with my dad and I’m not going to change that! I’m going to tell Jackson tomorrow. Hopefully everything goes ok. Tomorrow might be the death of me.


	9. Tryouts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re ready for football tryouts! Miller is finally honest with Jackson about his grandmother and Bellamy and Lincoln do something Miller wasn’t expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if you know more about football than I do and the part about football is really terrible. I hope you enjoy! Chapter 10 is coming soon!!!

It’s finally Friday. Thank god. I get up for school like usual and go to school like usual. Luckily my grandmother is still sleeping so I don’t have to talk to her. I’ve never held anything against the woman to be honest even though she’s always hated me. But now I just don’t want to deal with her lying to my face. I pull into the parking lot and it just so happens that I park next to Jackson. He’s still in his car. He probably just got here. I get out of the car just after he does. When he sees me he waits for me to catch up to him. 

Jackson: Good Morning.  
Miller: *grabbing his hand* Gooding morning  
Jackson: What is this, I always get here before you  
Miller: You know there’s a first time for everything. 

He smiles, but I don’t. I’m going to tell him. 

Miller: I actually wanted to tell you something.  
Jackson: Ok? What is it?  
Miller: Well after I came out to my grandma I over heard her and my dad talking. And well, basically she’s not ok with it at all and she’s just lying to me.  
Jackson: I’m so sorry Nate. I wish you would have told me sooner. You know that you can talk to me about anything.  
Miller: That actually brings up another thing. When I got home last night from dinner with Lincoln and Bellamy, she was like asking if you were with us and basically accusing me of lying about who I was with last night. When I left the room I heard my dad tell her basically to leave me alone because I’m a good kid. And that really pissed me off because so what if I wasn’t with Lincoln and Bellamy? They’re my friends and you’re my boyfriend! She just needs to lay off.  
Jackson: So I take it she’s not my biggest fan.  
Miller: Not really, but I’m your biggest fan. I don’t need her, I’m just ready for her to go back home.  
Jackson: I am too. She is causing you too much stress that’s you don’t need.  
Miller: Yah, sadly she’ll probably be here for a while. How she works is she only visits once a year when its convenient for her and she stays until she feels like going home. It’s anywhere between days and weeks.  
Jackson: God. How have you been able to put up with that?  
Miller: Well she usually stays only a few days, a week at the most. When he say is extended that’s when something big happens. I think the longest she has stayed is a month and that’s when my mom died.  
Jackson: Well it’s good that she was there for you guys right?  
Miller: not really. All she did was make me more depressed and rearrange our house because she never liked my mom and she didn’t like how she had put together our house. My dad tries his best to not let her get to me. He stands up for me.  
Jackson: It’s good that he’s always in your corner.  
Miller: Yah. Anyway let’s change the subject.  
Jackson: ok. So, football tryouts are this afternoon. Are you ready?  
Miller: Yah I think so, but team captain is still up in the air. I don’t know if I’ll make it.  
Jackson: Nate if you don’t think you’re going to make team captain then you won’t. I know I think you will, Lincoln thinks you will, Bellamy thinks you will, and Octavia thinks you will. So why don’t you think you will?  
Miller: I don’t know. I mean I play safety, that’s not necessarily the most important job on the field and am I really a leader?

He grabs my hands. 

Jackson: you are leader material. You’re the only one that doesn’t think that. And if you don’t think safety is the most important position on the the field, then make it the most important position. I know that I’m your biggest fan and that I believe in you. So you need to believe in you too. 

I can’t help but kiss him. He makes me so happy. I also kind of feel like Octavia might put up a fight for the role of biggest fan, but I’m going to let him have it. I smile. 

Jackson: See, that’s what I was looking for!  
Miller: What?  
Jackson: That smile. You have such a cute smile

I blush.  
We finally walk into to school and go to my locker. Octavia is waiting for us and Lincoln is standing next to her. I mean if Jackson and I weren’t together I would say that they are the cutest couple. 

Lincoln: Hey! You ready for tryouts?  
Miller: Yep! You?  
Lincoln: Of course I am.  
Octavia: *points to Jackson* and we’re ready to sit in the stands.  
Jackson: Yah pretty much.  
Octavia: We’ll be the best cheerleaders you’ve ever had!

Lincoln and I laugh at that. I’m glad that they are going to be there. Lincoln turns to me and says:

Lincoln: Are we still doing dinner after?  
Miller: Yep!  
Lincoln: Great! I’ll check with Bellamy later.  
Lincoln: Ok well I have to go but I’ll see you guys later. 

He kisses Octavia and leaves. 

Jackson: I actually have to go too. I’m supposed to meet Clarke about something. 

He kisses me on the cheek and leaves.  
Octavia looks at me. 

Octavia: Did you tell him?  
Miller: Yes I did  
Octavia: Thank god. So are you excited for your birthday dinner?

She’s being sarcastic, I glare at her and she smiles. 

Miller: Why wouldn’t I be? I mean it’s not like I’m having dinner with my dad, my best friend, my grandmother and my boyfriend who my grandmother hates even though she’s never actually met him.  
Octavia: You know it could be fun.  
Miller: But will it be fun? Probably not.  
Octavia: God you’re so pessimistic. Jackson could wow her and she could realize that she was wrong and love him.  
Miller: We’re talking about the same person right? Because right now I don’t think we are. 

She laughs and I smile. 

Octavia: We’ll just have to make the best of it. Also now I know that you are going to be 17 and all, but I’m still your “chaperone” so no PDA!

She couldn’t make it through that sentence without laughing. 

Miller: Fine… But it’s going to be really difficult, I mean have you looked at his face?

We’re both laughing at this point. Sadly it’s time to go to class. I have study hall with Clarke first. Thank god I need to be around a person who makes me laugh sine I won’t be with Jackson or Octavia. When I get to the classroom Clarke is waiting outside for me, as usual. 

Miller: Clarke you’re over here stealing my boyfriend what’s up with this? 

We both laugh. 

Clarke: What can I say everyone loves me  
Miller: Even gay men apparently  
Clarke: You know I’m basically Shawn Mendes, I’m everyone’s type  
Miller: I don’t like Shawn Mendes that much.  
Clarke: Miller why’d you have to ruin the joke?!  
Miller: What? I’m just saying 

We laugh some more. Study hall today is about as productive as usual, but it’s great. 

Miller: Octavia and Jackson have said that they are going to be the best cheerleader that we’ve ever seen.  
Clarke: too bad I’m going to miss that. That sounds fun. I have to go be a cheerleader for Lexa and do you know how hard it is to be a cheerleader for softball.  
Miller: Considering I know absolutely nothing about softball, I can only imagine.  
Clarke: Well, it’s hard and I have to make sure to embarrass her. What am I? A normal, good girlfriend who just goes and watches the games and cheers when something good happens. No I’m the girlfriend that makes it her goal to embarrass her more and more every game. Oh and senior night is going to be hell for her next year.  
Miller: Now I’ll definitely be there for that. I need to go to a game before the seasons over.  
Clarke: Well there’s like 2 home games next week so just come to one of those.  
Miller: I will. I’ll help with the embarrassing cheers.  
Clarke: That will be great! She can hate both of us!

Soon enough study hall is over and it’s time for English! Surprisingly Lincoln is waiting at the door for me. I tell Clarke bye and walk to English with him.

Lincoln: So I talked to Bellamy and he said that we are still good for tonight.  
Miller: Great!  
Lincoln: And we actually wanted to ask you something.  
Miller: ok?  
Lincoln: Do you want to invite Jackson to dinner tonight?  
Miller: I mean sure I want to, but why?  
Lincoln: I mean yesterday we talked about how we don’t really get to spend time with him so we don’t really know him, well this is an opportunity to get to know him.  
Miller: Are you sure about tonight though?  
Lincoln: Yah! I mean he doesn’t play football, but I think we’ve always thought of dinners like this as the football players of the group when really it’s the guys of the group. And Jackson is an addition to the group, and he’s a guy, so he should be invited to stuff like this with us.  
Miller: Ok. I’ll ask him.  
Lincoln: No. I have next period with him, I’ll ask him.  
Miller: Ok then.

When we get to class we sit with Raven in our normal sets.  
This is kinda weird. I know that Lincoln and Bellamy said that they wanted to get to know him better, but I didn’t think that they meant tonight. God I hope this dinner isn’t super awkward. My grandmother’s is probably going to freak out to my dad when she finds out he was invited. But I don’t even care at this point. Much to her dismay I’m not a bad kid and Jackson isn’t a horrible person. I want to think I don’t care but I do. It has always been like this. I’ve never been good enough and it always gets to me because for some reason I want to be good enough for her. It shouldn’t matter, I’m good enough for my friends and I’m good enough for my dad and their opinions are really the only ones that matter. I don’t even know anymore.  
After being zoned out for most of it class finally ends. I walk to history and Bellamy meets me about halfway. 

Bellamy: So did Lincoln ask you about Jackson?  
Miller: Yep  
Bellamy: And what did you say?  
Miller: I said ok, even though when you two said that you wanted to get to know him better I didn’t think you meant today.  
Bellamy: Why not today? It’s as good as any other day.  
Miller: I guess that’s true, but you two are still weird.  
Bellamy: And you’re weird too. We’re just all weird 

I laugh at that because let’s be honest it’s true.  
I have decided that history is the only class I can count on nothing changing. It’s always the same, Bellamy knowing everything, some people trying to jump in every once in a while and while Clarke and I try to take notes and actually understand what we’re talking about. When it’s time for lunch we all walk together. Hanging out with Bellamy and Clarke used to be weird since they used to date, but ever since Clarke started dating Lexa things went back to normal like before they were dating. Actually Bellamy and Lexa are super close, it’s sweet. When we get to lunch, as always Jackson is waiting for us. When we greet him he asks if I can stay back for a minute. 

Jackson: So the weirdest things just happened in Study Hall.  
Miller: What?  
Jackson: Lincoln invited me to dinner with you guys tonight.  
Miller: And what did you say?  
Jackson: I said sure, but I was still confused as to why he invited me.  
Miller: He and Bellamy decided that they want to get to know you better. And plus you’re pretty much in our friend group now and we hang out without the girls so you should be included too.  
Jackson: Was this your idea?  
Miller: Nope. Completely Lincoln and Bellamy.  
Jackson: Ok then…

Lunch goes by pretty quickly and I have my last two classes with Jackson so I just walk with him to class. Science is confusing and long as usual and pretty much the same with math. When school is over I go to meet Lincoln and Bellamy to get ready for tryouts. My heart is racing. I’m so nervous.  
We get dressed and walk out to the field. I look towards the stands and see all the player’s girlfriends. I spot Octavia and Raven. Where’s Jackson? He said he was going to be here, where is he?  
Whatever. I need to focus. I can’t think about anything but football right now. Thats what’s important, I need to make the team. We do some warmups and we start with drills. It’s actually kinda funny because whenever a player does something good a different group of girls cheer. Somehow, Lincoln, Bellamy and I have the smallest group, but they are still the loudest. It’s actually really funny. After about 15 minutes Jackson shows up. Thank god he’s here. I actually don’t know if he has terrible timing or great timing because we are about to do tackling drills. This is always the fun part for us because when ever someone gets hit there is always a loud gasp from the stands. It’s hard not to laugh. I get paired with Bellamy. I’m usually paired with Bellamy because we’re close in size while Lincoln on the other hand is about 3 or 4 inches taller than both of us. We start the drill. About half of us line up on the line and the other half are across from them and have to run and hit the person on the line. I’m on the line and I have to try and stop Bellamy. This should be fun. On the whistle we all start. They start running at full speed and at the end of it everyone but me, Lincoln, and one other guy is on the ground. Everyone gets up and we switch places, we do this drill for about 15 minutes. After that for the last part we run laps. We have to run 10 laps around the field and then we do 15 down and backs. This is the part that always gets hard to watch because the people who haven’t prepared well enough always, and I mean always puke at the end of lap 9. After we’re done running we talk to the coaches. They basically just tell us that they will post who made it outside of the locker room on Monday. We’re dismissed and we all walk over to the stands. We quickly go say hi to Octavia, Jackson, and Raven, but we don’t hug them in celebration or good job or what ever because we are sweating and they opted out. I mean if we wanted to be mean we could pile on top of them, but we’re not completely horrible people. We go to the locker room to quickly shower before dinner. When we get back out it’s just Octavia and Jackson waiting for us. Raven left because she had something to do, Jackson stayed for obvious reasons and Octavia stayed to tell us that we all did a good job. Bellamy and Octavia drive to school together every day so Lincoln takes her home before meeting us at the restaurant. I walk Jackson to his car. I don’t know if I’m mad about him being late and not telling me or not though. A part of me is fine because he showed up anyway, but the other part is a little upset that I didn’t get a warning. I guess I’m just more happy he came. 

Jackson: Sorry I was late, I had to talk to a teacher  
Miller: It’s ok. I’m just glad you came.  
Jackson: you did great out there!  
Miller: Thanks. I just need to keep getting better if I want to be captain.  
Jackson: You will  
Miller: So are you ready for dinner?  
Jackson: I hope so.


	10. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller enjoys dinner with Lincoln, Bellamy, and Jackson. When he gets home his grandmother and dad are waiting for him. He goes to bed, still not ready for his birthday tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter, but I hope you enjoy! I tried to make it funny and I’m sure if it actually is.

Bellamy gets to the restaurant first and has a table waiting for us when we all get there. Jackson and I get there around the same time and Lincoln gets there about 5 minutes later. I sit across from Bellamy and Jackson sits next to me. 

Lincoln: You’re good at science right?  
Jackson: yah, I want to be a doctor.   
Lincoln: Cool. I’m not really sure what I’m going to do after high school yet.   
Bellamy: Sooo, what’s to like dating Miller?  
Lincoln: Yah! What is it like?  
Jackson: It’s ok I guess. Miller: What??? Ok????  
Jackson: yah. 

Bellamy and Lincoln are laughing. 

Lincoln: Well what is he doing wrong?  
Jackson: I mean he’s not a great kisser.  
Bellamy: You don’t use tongue do you Miller?  
Lincoln: Come on Miller! You always use tongue!

They’re all laughing and I’m hardcore blushing. 

Miller: Well Bellamy at least I have someone to kiss.   
Bellamy: That may be true, but I’m a phenomenal kisser.   
Miller: Yep you’re such a good kisser Clarke is dating a girl now.   
Bellamy: Ouch. I pissed someone off. 

We all laugh at that. 

Lincoln: Jackson does he at least pay for dinner?  
Jackson: Yah, but he steals my food.   
Lincoln: wow. Octavia would kill me if I tried to take her food.   
Miller: When did this turn into let’s abuse Miller time?  
Bellamy: When is it not Let’s abuse Miller Time?  
Miller: It’s ok Jackson I know how to torture you later.  
Jackson: Hey now let’s not get too hasty.  
Bellamy: Miller if you’re talking about withholding sex that’s just cruel.  
Miller: I’m sure you have experience with that Bellamy  
Lincoln: Ok. New Subject. 

We all start laughing and move on. 

Bellamy: But, What is is it really like dating Miller? I’m just curious.   
Lincoln: He asked the same thing when Octavia and I started dating.   
Jackson: Well, he’s sweet and funny and he just makes me smile. 

Lincoln and Bellamy are learning on the hands smiling. 

Lincoln and Bellamy: awwwwwww

We all start laughing. 

Lincoln: Miller we didn’t know you could be sweet.   
Miller: Lincoln, Octavia talks about how sweet you are all the time.   
Lincoln: Damn it. She blew my cover.   
Miller: Well we’re even because Jackson blew mine too.   
Lincoln: Now Bellamy needs a girlfriend to so we can hear how sweet and amazing he is.   
Bellamy: Yah well we know how my dating life is.   
Miller: What about Gina?  
Bellamy: I don’t know....  
Jackson: You’ll find someone.   
Bellamy: yah, girls just don’t like me  
Lincoln: That’s not true. Plenty of girls like you they just don’t want to date you.   
Bellamy: ha ha. Very funny Lincoln. 

We laugh and continue with dinner. It does well. I’m actually really happy they wanted to invite Jackson. I’ve really enjoyed this, well except the part where they were insulting my kissing abilities. And I will have you know I’m a great kisser. After about and hour we’re done with dinner and we are going home. Jackson and I hold hands as we left the restaurant. We say goodbye to Lincoln and Bellamy and once they are gone Jackson turns to me. 

Jackson: That was nice.   
Miller: I’m glad you had fun. 

He smiles at me. I smile and kiss him. 

Miller: And I’m a great kisser.   
Jackson: I know you are. 

He laughs. I walk him to his car. 

Jackson: I’ll see you tomorrow.   
Miller: See you then, Goodnight. 

I kiss him goodbye and walk to my car. I’m really happy. I get home and, of course, my dad and grandmother are still awake. I brace myself as I walk into the house. 

Grandmother: Nathan! It’s about time you got home! How was your day?  
Miller: It was good.   
David: How were tryouts?  
Miller: Good. I think they went well.   
David: Great! How was dinner?  
Miller: It was good.   
Grandmother: Who were you at dinner with?

Here we go. 

Miller: Lincoln, Bellamy, and they decided to invite Jackson last minute. 

I can see that’s she’s not happy but she tries to hide it. 

Grandmother: Well that sounds fun!  
David: Well I’m glad that Lincoln and Bellamy wanted to invite Jackson.   
Miller: Me too. I’m going to go to bed there’s a lot to do tomorrow.   
Grandmother: goodnight sweetheart!  
David: Goodnight!

As soon as I leave the room grandma looks at dad and says:

Grandmother: God we all know he kissed him and the thought of that just disgusts me.   
David: He’s almost 17 and he has a boyfriend. Is he just not going to act like they’re dating? Are they just supposed to act like best friends just with a different title? Because you can’t tell me that you didn’t kiss your boyfriend when you were his age and I know that I kissed my girlfriend.   
Grandmother: Yah but that’s normal.   
David: Nate kissing his boyfriend is normal. He’s not just going to act like he doesn’t care about him when you’re around or when anyone else is around. I’m done having this conversation with you. You just need to get over yourself. Goodnight. 

I sigh. I’m just sick of her. Hopefully she’ll leave soon. I go to bed and try not to think about her. God I’m not ready for dinner tomorrow.


	11. Happy Birthday to me.....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Miller’s Birthday. All plans change when he doesn’t expect it. And the plans made by others take a turn for the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I hope you enjoy this chapter! My friend actually helped me go over everything and make sure it sounded good sooo, yah idk. I just wanted to say that. I’m excited for the upcoming chapters!

I wake up and it’s my birthday. Yay.....  
I pick my phone up and I have dozens of texts mostly from Octavia. She basically just says happy birthday and that she getting me breakfast. I respond telling her thank you and that she better not be cooking it. The next texts I look at are from Jackson. He says happy birthday and to text him when I wake up. I text him back saying thank you with a heart. And then Raven, Lincoln, Bellamy, Clarke, and Lexa all wished me a happy birthday and I tell them thank you. There are a few other people that I thank too for their wishes.   
I get out of bed and walk downstairs to find Bellamy and Octavia sitting in the kitchen with my dad and grandma. They brought donuts. Thank god neither of them tried to cook. 

Octavia: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!  
Miller: Good morning to you too.   
Bellamy: Happy Birthday!  
Miller: Thanks

I pick up a donut and Octavia jumps on me for a hug. Octavia always makes sure that I have the best birthday she can give me. It’s just something she’s always done. She always brings cake to school, she always brings me breakfast, and she always gives the best gifts. I’m so thankful for her. We all sit and talk in the kitchen while we eat. My phone buzzes and it’s a text from Jackson. He wants to know if we can have lunch. I respond with yes and he says that he’ll come pick me up around 12:30. I mean it’s like 9:30 now so that’s plenty of time. Octavia, Bellamy and I all go up to my room to hang out. 

Miller: Octavia, I’m sorry, but I have to spend a small portion of my day with someone other than you, my amazing best friend.   
Octavia: What!??  
Miller: I promised Jackson that we would have lunch.   
Octavia: You have a boyfriend, so now you down have time for me!?   
Miller: You have a boyfriend too!  
Octavia: True, True. 

Bellamy is laughing. 

Bellamy: You know if you really wanted her to freak out you should have told her that you are having lunch with me.   
Miller: I don’t want her to drop dead Bellamy.   
Bellamy: Yah. We don’t have time for a funeral right now. 

Octavia looks hurt and shocked, but she can’t help herself and she bursts out laughing. 

We spend the next few hours talking and laughing. This is what we would always do as kids, just the 3 of us. Soon enough Octavia and Bellamy leave and a few minutes later Jackson arrives. I greet him at the door. He brought me flowers, he’s so sweet. I kiss him and invite him inside. I put my flowers in the kitchen and tell my dad that we are going to lunch. Before we can make it out of the door he comes into the room to greet Jackson. I’m kinda a horrible person because I rush them so we can leave. When we finally leave, we get into Jackson’s car and he starts driving. 

Jackson: Happy Birthday.   
Miller: Thank you.   
Jackson: So, how was your morning?  
Miller: It was good. Octavia brought me breakfast as always.   
Jackson: That was sweet. So, how are you feeling about tonight?  
Miller: I’ll have you there, I think I’ll survive. 

He grabs my hand. 

Jackson: We’ll be fine, I promise. 

Soon, we’re at the restaurant. We go in and get a table. We sit down:

Jackson: So do you feel any older or wiser?  
Miller: All I know is that there could be grey hair at any second. 

We both laugh. 

Jackson: Well I’m older than you so does this mean I have to grow a beard to match the grey?  
Miller: Yah. Definitely, I would like to see that. 

He smiles. This is great. I think I’m falling in love with him. Nothing makes me happier than to see his smile. We talk all through lunch and I don’t think I stopped smiling once. When we finish our meal, he takes me back home. Yay! I get to go back to my grandmother instead of spending time with my boyfriend, exciting stuff. We pull into my driveway and he walks me to the front porch. He kisses me goodbye and tells me happy birthday again. I go inside with a huge smile on my face. 

Grandmother: Well someone looks happy.   
Miller: Me? I don’t know what you’re talking about.   
Grandmother: How was lunch?  
Miller: It was good.   
Grandmother: I saw he brought you flowers.   
Miller: Yep. He’s the sweetest.   
Grandmother: I put them on the kitchen counter in a vase.   
Miller: Great. Thank you.   
Grandmother: I’m excited about dinner tonight.   
Miller: Me too!

I force a smile. 

Miller: I’m going to go hangout in my room for a little bit.   
Grandmother: ok. 

I walk upstairs to my room and lay down on my bed. I turn some music on and close my eyes. I actually fall asleep. I wake up a few hours later at about 6. Oh god. Dinner is at 7 and I’m not prepared. I pick up my phone and see texts from Jackson and Octavia. I open the ones from Octavia first. She says, “ Hey! I’m so sorry, but I can’t come to dinner tonight. Bellamy was being and idiot and got us both grounded. I’m now allowed to leave the house unless it’s for school. Sorry”  
Damn. This is going to be even more awkward now. I open the texts from Jackson, he says, “ Hey babe! I had a great time at lunch with you today, but my mom fell and broke her ankle, so I’m not allowed to leave her side. I’m so, so, sorry. I miss you so much!”   
Shit. God. Neither of them can come??! Oh god. This just got like 10 times worse. I lay my head back down. I don’t want to get up. I don’t want to go. At about 6:30, my dad yells up the stairs that it’s almost time to go. I force myself out of bed and change clothes. I go down stairs and my dad says:

David: Are you ok? You look sad.  
Miller: Octavia and Jackson can’t come, they texted.   
David: What? Why?  
Miller: Octavia got grounded and Jackson’s mom broke her ankle so he can’t leave her.   
David: I’m so sorry Nate. You still have us! It can still be fun. 

We get into my dad’s car and he drives us all there. It was probably the longest car ride ever. I don’t want to do this. Why couldn’t we have just stayed at home? This is going to be hell. We go inside and grandma gives them her name because she had made reservations. They take us to the back room. What did she not want to be seen with some gay guys in public? God. I kinda zoned out because when I look up my dad and grandmother are not in front of me anymore. I’m so confused. I walk into the back room, its dark and Jackson is standing there. What? I don’t know what’s going on at all. Then suddenly:

Lincoln, Bellamy, Octavia, Raven, Clarke, Lexa, and Jackson: SURPRISE!!!!!

Oh my god.The look on my face must be great because they all start laughing, including my dad and grandmother who are in the corner. I walk towards Jackson. I love him so much. I smile. 

Jackson: Happy Birthday. 

I don’t care who’s around. I kiss him. I can’t help it. I love him so much right now. 

Grandmother: *quietly scoffs*

I roll my eyes.  
Then proceed to ignore her. 

Jackson: Are you mad?  
Miller: How could I be?  
Jackson: So do you like it?  
Miller: I love it. I love you.

He smiles. 

Jackson: I love you too.

I kiss him again and that’s where she loses it. 

Grandmother: Oh my god.   
David: Mom, stop.   
Grandmother: No! This is wrong! I only agreed to do this because I thought it would make Nate happy.   
David: Well it did, so let’s just go before you make a scene.

But it’s too late. 

Miller: What’s wrong? The fact that I kissed my boyfriend or the fact that I love him?  
Grandmother: All of it. Nathan, I have tried to set aside my differences, but I just can’t. This is wrong. You don’t love him. And you damn well shouldn’t be kissing him.   
Miller: Well I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but you can’t tell me who the hell I can love. I love him and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. He has been better to me than you have ever dreamed to be. He treats me like I matter, like I’m good enough, he makes me feel wanted, that’s something you have never done. If me being with the person I fucking love is that disgusting to you then I’ll leave! 

Everyone has a look of complete and utter shock on their face. I’m so pissed. I storm out of the room. I make it to the parking lot with Jackson right behind me.

Jackson: Nate! Nate, stop!

I stop and turn to face him, tears in my eyes. He grabs my hand. 

Jackson: I’m so sorry. She was only supposed to get you here and then leave. I didn’t know this would happen.   
Miller: It was bound to happen sometime. She’s been pretending for so long around me I’m not surprised.   
Jackson: You shouldn’t have to deal with her.   
Miller: I’m not going back to that house as long as she’s here. I can’t. 

My voice is shaking. Octavia runs out and hugs me. She’s crying. 

Octavia: I’m so sorry Nate. I’m so sorry. 

She buried her face into my chest. I let go of Jackson’s hand. I hold her face getting her to look at me. I look at her and then to Jackson. 

Miller: This isn’t either of your faults. You can’t change her, just like I can’t. 

Octavia lets go. Her voice is shaking more than mine. 

Octavia: What do you want to do?  
Miller: I can’t go back home until she’s gone. I can’t.   
Jackson: You can come stay with me.   
Miller: No. They would look at your houses first. I don’t want them to find me right now. Octavia will you talk to my dad? 

Octavia runs back inside. There are tears streaming down Jackson’s face. He looks so sad.   
Jackson and I walk to the side of the building away from my dad’s car. About a minute later Octavia comes back. 

Octavia: They’re gone. The just dove off.   
Miller: Thank god. What did you say to my dad?  
Octavia: I just told him that you couldn’t come home tonight. He said ok. 

We walk back to the front of the restaurant and join everyone else. They all have the same sad look on their faces. They all say how sorry they are and how horrible they feel and I just tell them that it’s not their fault. 

Miller: Lincoln can I stay with you tomorrow night?  
Lincoln: Yah. Sure. Whatever you need.  
Miller: Thanks. Ok so, I’m going to stay with Jackson for tonight, and Lincoln tomorrow and I’ll figure out the rest later. I just can’t go back to that house until she’s gone.   
Clarke: We understand. You can come stay with me whenever you need to.   
Miller: Thanks guys.   
Miller: Octavia, can you get my stuff for me from my house?  
Octavia: Yep. Clothes and backpack?  
Miller: Yes. Thank you.  
Miller: I’m sorry tonight didn’t go as planned, but thank you for trying and standing by me. 

I give everyone a hug and then Jackson and I turn and walk to his car. We get in and I shrink into the seat. Jackson lifts my chin up and kisses my forehead. 

Jackson: It’s going to be ok.   
Miller: I hope so. 

We drive to his house and a few minutes after we get there Octavia shows up with my stuff. I thank her and she leaves. We go to Jackson’s room and sit and talk. We talk for a long time. I get really tired so I go to bed. He puts his arms around me and holds me as I sleep. I love him so fucking much, but I’m also so heartbroken that tears start to roll down my cheeks onto the pillow.


	12. Why Won't She Leave??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller has been staying at Clarke's house for the past week, just waiting for his grandmother to leave. She won't leave. He misses his normal life so Clarke tries to make the best of it for him. Then he gets a text he wasn't expecting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter! I wanted to give Miller and Clarke's relationship some more scenes sooo I wrote this! I hope it's not horrible lol. Who should I give him more of a relationship with? I was thinking Lexa. What do you think?

It’s been about a week and a half since my birthday and that woman won’t fucking leave. I’m staying at Clarke’s house right now. I miss my dad, I miss my bed. I’ve been sleeping on Clarke’s floor for the past week. I was at Jackson’s for one night, Lincoln’s for like 3 and now I’m here with Clarke. I haven’t missed a day of school or football practice though, I can’t afford to. I miss Jackson. I miss Octavia. I just miss my friends. I haven’t gotten to spend as much time with them because I haven’t been going to lunch at school. The person I’ve spent the most time with is Clarke and I’m actually happy about that. Clarke tries to find the bright side in the situation. I’m sitting on Clarke’s bed doing homework and someone knocks on the front door. Clarke walks out of her bathroom. 

Clarke: Who’s at the door?  
Miller: I have no idea.   
Clarke: Hide just in case. No one can see you here or they’ll tell your dad. 

I hide in the closet. Clarke leaves the door open to her room. This way I can hear what’s happening. I hear her footsteps stop and the creaking of her door being opened. 

Clarke: Hello Mr. Miller what brings you here?  
David: Listen I know one of you knows where he is.   
Clarke: I’m sorry I don’t know what your talking about.  
David: Clarke..... Clarke just tell him to come home.  
Clarke: I would if I knew where he was. 

It went silent for a bit and then I hear a long sigh from my father.

David: Do you know why he won’t come home. He won’t even answer my calls or texts.   
Clarke: I don’t know the answer to that. I haven’t talked to him in a while. Although I’m sure you know why he won’t come back.   
David: If you see him tell him to come home. I miss him.   
Clarke: I’ll do that sir. 

I hear footsteps on gravel followed by the slamming of a car door. Soon following Clarke shutting her front door. I come out of the closet when I know the coast is clear. I jump when Clarke walks into the room. 

Clarke: What are you doing?  
Miller: Well I was hiding in the closet. 

She bursts out laughing. 

Clarke: Did it feel homie?  
Miller: Really? You’re going there?  
Clarke: Yes because it’s hilarious. 

I start to laugh a little too. 

Clarke: Your dad says he misses you.   
Miller: I know, I heard.   
Clarke: We fine. I guess you don’t need a messenger, I see where I’m needed.

She plops down on the bed and I sit next to her. She looks at me. 

Clarke: Do you miss him?  
Miller: yah. I miss everyone. I’ve barely gotten to see Jackson, I haven’t seen my dad and I’m just done. I want my stupid fucking grandmother to go home so I can go home.   
Miller: I’m sorry. I know you’ve been missing them. You know what! I’m going to get my parents out of the house and he can come over. I don’t have work so I can be your personal waitress.   
Miller: Really? I would love that!  
Clarke: Great! I’ll talk to my mom and text Jackson. 

I smile and she leaves the room to go talk to her mom. After a few minutes she comes back into the room smiling. 

Clarke: Take a shower! Look nicer not like you have been laying around in your friends room for the past week! He’ll be here in 2 hours.   
Miller: Thank you Clarke! You’re the best.   
Clarke: I know, but thanks for the reminder. 

She smirks and I smile. I get up and go to the bathroom to shower. Clarke’s right I should shower. I’m a mess.   
••  
Clarke’s parents are gone and he’ll be here any minute now. I’m so excited. I miss getting to spend time with him like this, it will go back to normal soon. There’s a knock on the door and Clarke goes to see who it is. It’s him. He’s here. She calls me over so I can answer it. 

Jackson: Hi! I’ve mis—

I don’t even let him finish his sentence, I kiss him. Now yes, it’s not like I haven’t seen him yah, but I haven’t got to kiss him, or talk to him, or just really be around him. That’s what I’ve missed. 

Miller: I’ve missed you too. 

I grab his hand and bring him inside. Clarke is literally the best human ever, she ordered dinner (let’s be real no one in this room was going to cook) and she set the table. She says that she’ll just be in her room FaceTiming Lexa. We get food and sit down. 

Jackson: So how are you holding up?  
Miller: To be honest, not great. But I’m better now.   
Jackson: What’s wrong? Do you miss your dad?  
Miller: Yes. I miss my dad so much and I miss my bed, I miss you, I miss Octavia, I miss everything. I just want her to leave so everything can go back to normal.   
Jackson: I do too. I’m so sorry. I wish you could just come stay at my house, you know my mom doesn’t care.   
Miller: I know, but I feel like something will happen if I stay there. I mean here they wouldn’t think to go to Clarke’s first, they would go to you or Octavia.   
Jackson: True.   
Miller: How about this.....

I grab his hand. 

Miller: I can come stay with you this weekend and hopefully I’ll be able to go back home soon.   
Jackson: ok. That sounds good. You can come over Friday night.   
Miller: ok. So how’s everyone doing?  
Jackson: Octavia misses you, Lincoln and Bellamy don’t have their 3rd football player so they’ve been kinda quiet, I’m sure Clarke has talked about Lexa, and Raven is pretty much the same, she just misses you. We all do. 

So basically to explain how I’ve been doing this, I’ve been technically going to school, but I don’t go to gym, study hall, or lunch, I go to football, science, and math, but for everything else I get Clarke to get my work during study hall and I go to a coffee shop to do it and have my friends turn my stuff in. The reason I go to Science and math is because they don’t make sense as is and I can’t afford to get behind, also well Jackson. So yah it really sucks. I just tell the teachers that I’m not going to that I’m sick.   
Jackson stays over for about an hour more before he has to go. I don’t want him to go. When he leaves I kiss him again and go upstairs to tell Clarke he’s gone. I help her clean up in the kitchen and after that I’m exhausted so I go to bed (well Clarke’s floor with a pillow and a blanket).   
••  
The rest of this week goes by so slowly. I go though my annoying new routine and slowly but surely it’s almost Friday.   
••  
It’s been literally the longest week ever. It’s the last class of the day on Friday and thank god it’s math. Since it’s one of the ones I actually go to at this point. As soon as class ends a huge smile spreads across my face. I get my stuff and grab Jackson’s hand. We walk to his car so we can go to his house. When we get there we greet his mom and go up to his room. I put my stuff down and kiss him. We both smile. I’m so happy I’m here with him. 

Miller: I love you.   
Jackson: I love you too. 

I kiss him again. He grabs my hand and we lay down on his bed. He puts his arms around me. We lay there for a while, to the point that I’m pretty much asleep. And then my phone goes off. 

Jackson: Should you get that?  
Miller: No. ignore it. 

It’s goes off again, and again, and again. I sit up and look to see what it is. 

Jackson: What is it?  
Miller: It’s my grandmother....  
Jackson: What?!

He sits up next to me. 

Jackson: What did she say.   
Miller: She said, “Nathan, you need to come home. I’m leaving soon, as long as you come see me. I would like to say goodbye to my grandson before I leave.”  
Jackson: What are you going to do?  
Miller: I’m going to respond. I say, “I’m not coming home. Not as long as you’re there. I have people that love me and you’ve proven yourself not to be one of them, so leave and then I’ll go home. I don’t want to see you.”

She responds, “I’m not leaving until I see you. You don’t have to come home. I can meet you at a coffee shop tomorrow, but I’m not leaving until I see you. 

Miller: I can’t go see her. Not after everything.   
Jackson: I understand. You don’t have to do what you don’t want to do.   
Miller: But I have to go see her if I want her to leave.   
Jackson: Do you want Octavia to talk to her or your dad or someone to find a way out of seeing her?  
Miller: No. there’s no point. If she says she’s not leaving until she see me, she’s not leaving. I want to go back home. 

I start to tear up just thinking about everything that’s happened while she’s been here. Some tears roll down my cheeks. Jackson wipes them away. 

Jackson: Whatever you need to do I support you, I’ll do what ever you need me to do. 

I text her back. “Fine I’ll meet you. But I’m bringing Jackson.”

Jackson looks a little worried. Whatever I stand by this decision. I kiss him and lay back down. He lays with me and we talk until I fall asleep.


	13. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller is meeting with his grandmother because she wont leave until she sees him and he wants to go home. Jackson is with him every step of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise it gets more interesting! I hope this chapter is good and not too short. Anyway, enjoy and sorry for spelling errors!

It’s Saturday morning and I’m meeting my grandmother in a few hours. I don’t want to, I just want to stay in bed with Jackson all day. I mean I’m already prolonging this as long as I can, Jackson is still asleep. Crap he’s waking up. If he wakes up that means I actually have to get up. Yep he’s awake now, he kisses my neck. 

Jackson: Good morning. 

I turn to face him. He’s still half asleep. 

Miller: Good morning.   
Jackson: How did you sleep?  
Miller: Fine. I guess. 

Jackson rubs my back trying to calm me down. God what would I do without him.

Jackson: Hey it’s going to be okay. I’m always here for you.   
Miller: Thank you Jackson   
Jackson: Are you going to tell Octavia?  
Miller: I don’t know  
Jackson: She’s your best friend, you need to.   
Miller: I guess. 

He gets out of bed. I don’t want to get up. I take up his side of the bed. 

Jackson: Ok get up.   
Miller: I don’t want to. I was perfectly happy.   
Jackson: You have to get out of bed.   
Miller: No. We should just stay here all day. 

He picks up a pillow and hits me with it. 

Miller: Hey!   
Jackson: Come on Nate! Get up!  
Miller: Finnnnneee. 

I stand up

Jackson: Good. I was about to have to take the blanket.   
Miller: That would have been cruel. 

He kisses me and I smile. 

Jackson: Ok now, you need to call Octavia.   
Miller: Nooo. If I had known that was included with getting out of bed I would still be in bed!

I turn to try and get back in bed, but he grabs my arm. 

Jackson: Nate.   
Miller: Fine! I’ll call her. 

I pick my phone and call her. She picks up. 

*on the phone*  
Octavia: Nate?  
Miller: Heyyy  
Octavia: Oh my god! I miss you so much! How are you???  
Miller: I’m fine you know, the usual, normal stuff. I’m going to see my grandmother.   
Octavia: What??? Explain.   
Miller: Well she texted me and she said that she won’t leave until she sees me so I need to come home, and I told her that I wasn’t coming home until she left and you know that woman she says she’s not leaving until I come home she’ll be here for the next year. So I’m meeting her in a couple of hours.   
Octavia: And Clarke agreed to let you do this?  
Miller: Actually... I’m not with Clarke. I’m at Jackson’s.   
Octavia: He agreed to this????  
Miller: Well, not in so many words. I made the decision, I just want to go home.   
Octavia: I understand, but I want to be there with you.   
Miller: Octavia, I don’t know.   
Octavia: Is Jackson going with you?  
Miller: Umm... Yah... How did you know?  
Octavia: I know you. Just tell me when and where and I’ll meet you there.   
Miller: Fine. I’ll text you.   
Octavia: Great! So how are you doing?  
Miller: Well I was in bed and I was doing great, but Jackson decided that I can’t just stay in bed all day so yah. I’m awake.   
Octavia: well I’m glad you’re with him. I know you’ve missed him.   
Miller: I miss you.   
Octavia: I miss you too. Ok text me and I’ll see you later!  
Miller: Ok. See you then.   
She hangs up. 

Jackson: Soooooo, was that so bad.   
Miller: Shut up...  
Jackson: So I’m guessing she’s coming with us?  
Miller: yep. You know Octavia.   
Jackson: Well, I’m glad she’ll be there. You need all the support you can get.   
Miller: Yah I guess, but on a more important note, we should get breakfast. 

I smile and he laughs at me. 

Jackson: I guess... Just be happy you’re so cute.   
Miller: yay! I guess I should get dressed...  
Jackson: I mean unless you want to go out in your pajamas.   
Miller: I meannnn....   
Jackson: No. no. Just go get dressed.   
Miller: Fine. But just know you are ruing the Saturday vibe of, stay one bed all day, eat donuts and never put actual clothes on.   
Jackson: Just put clothes on and I’ll buy you donuts.   
Miller: ok I guess that’s a fair trade. 

I pick up my bag and we both get dressed. Now he’s going to take me to get donuts. This is one of the many reasons I love him. Buying me donuts does make the top of the list though. We go to the donut place and we get our food and sit down to eat. 

Jackson: So, have you talked to your dad?

Ok, I get that he’s worried and everything, but I was already forced to get out of bed, is it too much to ask to just enjoy a donut?

Miller: no, but I know he’s been looking for me.   
Jackson: You should talk to him.  
Miller: I don’t know.   
Jackson: I know how much you miss him, so why not just call him or something?  
Miller: I don’t know, I guess I’m still kinda hurt by everything.   
Jackson: What do you mean? I didn’t think he did anything.   
Miller: Well, that’s just it. He didn’t do anything. Like yah he said something and he stood up for me a few times, but he didn’t do anything.   
Jackson: That’s why you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel. I won’t change if you don’t.   
Miller: God, I hate it when you’re right. I’ll call him. 

I get up and walk outside to call him. He answers almost immediately. 

*on the phone*  
David: Nate? Oh my God. Is that really you?   
Miller: Hey dad. I miss you.   
David: I miss you so much. Where are you? Is everything ok?

My voice starts to break as I speak and I tear up a little. 

Miller: Not really. I need to talk to you.   
David: Ok do you want to do it over the phone?  
Miller: No. Will you meet me?  
David: Yes! When? Where?  
Miller: Right now, at the donut place.   
David: Ok I’m on my way now.   
Miller: Oh and dad, please don’t say anything to grandma.   
David: I won’t. I’ll see you soon. 

I hang up the phone and back inside. I wipe a tear off my face before getting back to our table.

Jackson: How did it go? Are you ok?  
Miller: It went fine. I asked him to meet me here. He’s on his way.   
Jackson: That’s good! So why do I see tears. 

He reaches and wipes away another tear. 

Miller: I’m just sick of this. I want to go home to my dad and to my bed and for life to go back how it was before all of this. You know last night was the first time I’ve slept in a bed in almost 2 weeks and the first close to decent nights sleep I’ve had. I’m just tired of it. 

Jackson grabs my hand. 

Jackson: We can fix this. I promise. 

I quickly wipe away any remaining tears, because my dad’s here. He walks to our booth. He waves at me and I wave back. 

David: Hi Nate! Hi Jackson!  
Jackson: Hey Mr. Miller. 

Jackson smiles and gets up. 

Jackson: I’ll leave you two alone. 

He walks away and I kind of wish he had stayed. 

Miller: hey dad. 

He sits down. 

David: Oh Nate. I’ve missed you so much.Have you been with Jackson this entire time?  
Miller: No. I’ve only really gotten to see him twice this week and that’s the most in about 2 weeks.   
David: What happened? Is this only about what happened on your birthday?  
Miller: No.  
David: Please tell me so I can fix it. I just want you to come home.   
Miller: When Grandma leaves I’ll come back.   
David: I’ll talk to her.   
Miller: You see that’s just it. You only talk, but you haven’t done anything.   
David: What do you mean?  
Miller: Ever since she got here you’ve known that she wasn’t ok with me. Yes, you defended me, but it wasn’t enough.   
David: what am I supposed to do? I can’t change her mind.   
Miller: But I’m your son, she is staying in your house. You don’t have to let her stay here. She’s already proven that she doesn’t love me enough to get over herself, but what about you?   
David: I’m so sorry Nate. You are the most important person in the world to me and I haven’t been acting like it.   
Miller: I love you dad.   
David: I love you too. I’m sorry, I have to cut this short. I have something I need to do.   
Miller: Ok.   
David: Bye! I love you.   
Miller: I love you too.

He gets up and leaves and Jackson comes back over and sits with me. 

Jackson: Are you ready to go?  
Miller: yah. 

We get into the car and go back to Jackson’s house. I convince him to let me go back to just laying in bed and doing nothing. Soon, it’s time. It’s time to go meet my grandmother. We drive to the coffee shop, go in, sit down, and wait for her to get here. Octavia walks in and I give her a hug and she sits next to me.   
••  
It’s been like an hour, what the hell. She’s not here. I mean she’s the one that wanted to meet, not me. Then my dad walks in. What’s he doing here? He walks over to us. 

Miller: Dad? What are you doing here?  
David: Nate, she’s gone. Let’s go home.   
Miller: What do you mean?  
David: I told her to leave.   
Miller: And she just left? Just like that?  
David: I told her that you’re more important to me and that she has to leave and not come back unless she can except you for who you are. 

I stand up and hug him. 

Miller: Thanks Dad.   
David: I love you Nate.   
Miller: I love you too.   
David: Will you come home now?  
Miller: Yes. My bag is in Jackson’s car.   
David: Do you want to come home now or in a few hours?  
Miller: Now.   
David: Ok. I’ll be in the car. 

He turns and walks out and I turn to Jackson and Octavia. They stand up and they both hug me. 

Octavia: I bet you’re happy. 

I smile

Miller: I am.   
Jackson: I’m happy that you’re happy. Now let’s go get your bag so you can go home. 

We walk outside and I hug Octavia and tell her goodbye. Jackson and I go get my bag from his car. 

Jackson: Are you excited about going home?  
Miller: Yes, but I’m going to miss you.   
Jackson: I’ll see you at school on Monday and we’ll talk before then I know.   
Miller: Yah, but I really enjoyed getting to spend the night with you. 

He smiles and kisses me. 

Jackson: Then we’ll have to do it again. Now go home with you dad!  
Miller: I love you.  
Jackson: I love you too.

I turn and walk to my dad’s car. I toss my bag into the back and get in. 

David: Thank God. Please don’t ever do that again. Just talk to me.   
Miller: I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking at the time.   
David: I know, I just missed you so much.   
Miller: I missed you too dad. 

We dive home and god I’ve missed this place so much. I’m so happy. We get out of the car and go in. I go straight to my room and lay on my bed. I’ve missed my bed so much. And apparently I fall asleep because dad wakes me up when it’s time for dinner. I’m so happy to be home.


	14. Ready for Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s almost summer and everyone is ready. Miller has his plan for summer, consisting of nothing, when Octavia makes a plan for their friend group that he’s not a fan of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t really know what I was thinking when I wrote this but I love it lol. Im super excited for next chapter and I hope you are too!

I’ve been home for a little over a month and it’s the last week of school, Well it’s Thursday so it’s the day before that last day of school. Thank god. I’m so ready for this summer. I mean it’s not like I’m doing anything it’s just I would rather spend my days in bed and at football practice.  
We’re at lunch right now and Octavia and Bellamy are currently throwing food at each other. Poor Lincoln is in the middle of it. 

Raven: I don’t understand why you insist on doing this. 

Bellamy turns and throws a carrot at her. 

Raven: What the hell Bellamy!  
Bellamy: What it’s fun!  
Raven: No it’s childish.   
Bellamy: I mean technically I’m under 18 so I’m not an adult yet.   
Raven: Whatever. 

Octavia is laughing. She reaches for a handshake. 

Octavia: Ok. Truce?   
Bellamy: Sure. 

They shake hands. 

Lincoln: Thank god. You know I really question why I sit in between you two everyday. 

Octavia hugs him. 

Octavia: It’s because you love us!  
Miller: I mean Lincoln there’s a lot less food thrown on this side of the table.   
Jackson: That’s because you and Raven would never dream of wasting food. Even if you were throwing it at someone.   
Miller and Raven: Hey! There’s nothing wrong with that! 

He’s laughing because we said that pretty much in unison. 

Clarke: I mean can you imagine the look on Miller’s face if he saw someone throw away a donut?  
Miller: No one should throw away a perfectly good donut!

Everyone is laughing including me. 

Miller: Are we going back to abuse Miller time?  
Octavia: Wait! We have to! I wasn’t a part of the first one!  
Miller: nooooo  
Bellamy: Why it was great last time!  
Miller: You know what I don’t have to take this abuse. 

I give them a fake hurt look and start to stand up. Jackson and Octavia grab my arms as they’re laughing. 

Jackson: It’s ok baby, we won’t abuse you I promise. 

I smile and kiss him. While everyone at the table groans and Octavia goes:

Octavia: No PDA!!!

We all burst out laughing. 

Miller: What? You guys are just jealous. 

We spend the rest of lunch laughing and making fun of each other. I love moments like these. The rest of the day is pretty slow, but I’m hanging out with Octavia after school so its worth it. After class ends she meets me at our lockers so I can drive her to my house. When we get there we greet my dad and go up to my room. For some reason we both decide to sit on the floor. 

Octavia: Sooo, What are you doing this summer?  
Miller: Nothing. Football practice and staying in bed. Like always.   
Octavia: In bed with Jackson. 

She winks and I nudge her arm. 

Miller: Shut up. 

She laughs

Octavia: Come on you do the same thing every summer. Change it up!  
Miller: Why would I do that?  
Octavia: Because we’re almost seniors, so let’s change it up.   
Miller: And what do you have in mind?  
Octavia: I don’t know, we live like half an hour from D.C. we could drive up there. Or better yet we live like 4 hours from New York. We could go on a road trip!  
Miller: That would be a very short road trip.   
Octavia: Not the point. It would be fun! It’s something different, it’s something fun!  
Miller: What’s with the sudden need to change my summer routine?  
Octavia: I don’t know. Admit it going to football and laying in bed all day gets boring.   
Miller: I wish I could tell you it did, but if donuts are included I’m never leaving this room again. 

She laughs and hits my shoulder. 

Octavia: I’m sure we can find even better donuts in New York. And you know what’s something you’ve never done before?  
Miller: I mean there’s lots of things, been to New York is on that list.   
Octavia: You’ve never celebrated pride!  
Miller: Yah that’s because I came out this year.   
Octavia: Well maybe you should celebrate it   
Miller: Can’t I celebrate from the comfort of my own home?  
Octavia: Come on! It’s perfect for our friend group, think about it. You, Jackson, and Lexa are all gay, and Clarke and Raven are both bi! It’s perfect!  
Miller: If you can convince them, we can go.   
Octavia: Yay! I’ll talk to them tomorrow. 

She stays over for about another hour. When she leaves I eat dinner with my dad, do my homework, and go to bed. Thank god tomorrow is the last day of school.   
••  
I walk into school and everyone is happy for once. I mean yah it’s the last day, but it’s still school. I walk over to my locker, grab my books, and go to class. I was later than usual.   
Class goes by slowly and soon it’s finally time for lunch. Thank god. I sit down at lunch and Octavia has this wide smile on her face. 

Octavia: ok now that everyone’s here I have an idea!  
Miller: oh god. 

I put my face in my hand.   
She’s really doing this oh god. 

Octavia: This summer, we should dive up to New York, since it’s only like 4 hours, and go to New York Pride!   
Lexa: Sure. I’ll go.   
Clarke: I’ll go  
Raven: I’m in.   
Miller: no. No. I only agreed to this because I thought you guys would say no!   
Raven: It sounds fun.   
Miller: Fine. But can I just wear a rainbow shirt, acknowledge that it’s going on, and just not go? Just have fun in New York.   
Octavia: I’m not going to get you to agree to anything more am I?  
Miller: I’ll kiss my boyfriend in public, is that good enough?  
Octavia: I mean it’s not like you don’t already do that all the time, but sure. Jackson, what about you?  
Jackson: I’ll go. 

I turn to Jackson

Miller: You’re supposed to be on my side   
Jackson: What? It sounds fun.   
Miller: Lincoln? Bellamy?   
Lincoln: I mean you can’t be alone in the city.   
Bellamy: We can find something to do.   
Octavia: You two are supposed to be on my side   
Bellamy: I’ll go, but we can’t just leave Miller  
Lincoln: if he wants to go we’ll go

This is going well. At least I have Lincoln and Bellamy. I mean what the hell! I was at least expecting Raven to say no. 

Clarke: Miller why don’t you want to go?  
Miller: I don’t know. I would just rather stay at home.   
Jackson: You don’t want to celebrate who you are?  
Miller: I do celebrate who I am! I’m out aren’t I. I have a boyfriend. If someone asks if I have a girlfriend I don’t lie and say yes. I’m not ashamed of myself.   
Lexa: Then why don’t you want to go?  
Miller: It’s just something I’ve never thought about going to. I would just rather spend the day with my friends and the person I love having fun in New York in our own way.   
Bellamy: And you guys can go on one big group date while Raven and I are sad and alone.   
Raven: Speak for yourself. I have a boyfriend.   
Miller: Since when?  
Raven: I don’t know like a week ago.   
Octavia: Why didn’t you tell any of us?  
Raven: Huh. I guess it never came up.   
Clarke: Well Who is it?  
Raven: His name is Shaw.   
Miller: Oh. I know who he is. He’s in my P.E. class.   
Bellamy: Why haven’t you invited him to lunch with us?  
Raven: I don’t you? Let’s be real. I’m impressed that we didn’t scare away Jackson and Lexa when they first started sitting with us.   
Bellamy: True. True.   
Miller: Well were hanging out tomorrow, so invite him.   
Raven: Fine! I will. 

After torturing Raven about her boyfriend for a few minutes we go back to the whole New York thing and Actually make a plan. Lunch ends and we are dismissed to our last class. I mean it’s like half a class where we do nothing but it’s the last class of our junior year. The last bell rings and it finally time to go home. I empty out my locker and go home. My dad isn’t home yet so I just sit and watch T.V. for a few hours. I talk to him for awhile when he gets home. I leave around 5:15 because I’m meeting Jackson for dinner. I get to the restaurant and sit down. We talk for a few minutes and then he says:

Jackson: So why don’t you want to go to pride?  
Miller: I don’t know. I guess I don’t really have a reason. It’s just something I never saw myself doing.   
Jackson: Yah, but think farther back. Did you see yourself dating me or having to worry about coming out?   
Miller: I mean more recently yah, but I guess I only started to worry about coming out last year. I mean I’ve know since I was like 13, I tried to ignore it. I’m not ashamed of myself, I just don’t know. I just don’t want everything I about my life to be about the fact that I’m gay, because yes that’s a part of who I am, but I’m more than that. 

He grabs my hand. 

Jackson: I understand. If you don’t want to go. I won’t go.   
Miller: You don’t have to do that. If you want to go, you should go.  
Jackson: I don’t mind. There’s always next year.   
Miller: Are you sure?   
Jackson: I’m sure.   
Miller: I love you.   
Jackson: I love you too. 

We talk some more. We talk about what we can do in New York and what else we should do since it’s officially summer.


	15. New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller and his friends make it to New York for pride! They are having fun in the city and Miller gets a surprising message from his cousin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't know if any of this is accurate to real life at all, but I tried ok? As always, enjoy!

We are a few weeks into summer and it’s time for our New York trip. We aren’t taking one car because that’s just a disaster waiting to happen. Jackson and I ride together, Octavia, Lincoln, and Bellamy ride together, Raven and Shaw, and Clarke and Lexa. The plan is to meet at the hotel when we all get there for check in. We obviously couldn’t afford a hotel directly in Times Square even though, I have a little money from summer and part time jobs, and Clarke has money from her job. We’re still 17. Our hotel is outside of Times Square, but it’s not that bad of a distance. We get to the hotel and check in. Bellamy in a way is the lucky one because he’s the only one with his own room. The room arrangements are obvious, Jackson and me, Clarke and Lexa, Lincoln and Octavia, and Raven and Shaw. We take our bags to our rooms and meet back in the lobby. 

Octavia: Ok, so first we’re just going to spend some time in Times Square walking around. We can go to bed early tonight since we’re not leaving until Monday and tomorrow is pride.   
Miller: Great. We’ll shop around. What are we doing for dinner? Are we splitting up or all together?  
Octavia: I mean, if we stay together we’ll have to see if we can get reservations anywhere on short notice.   
Bellamy: How about his tomorrow we split up, tonight we stick together.   
Octavia: Ok. Sounds good. 

We go to Times Square and spend hours walking. We find a restaurant at about 7, eat dinner and walk around Times Square for a little longer. We’re all pretty tired around 10 so we decide to go back to the hotel for bed. Thank the lord. Sleep is probably favorite time of day. We get in bed and go to sleep. When I wake up, Jackson being the sweetest human ever, got me my favorite food, donuts. I sit up and he hands me the box. 

Miller: Why are you the best boyfriend ever?  
Jackson: I don’t know. It’s just a talent.   
Miller: Do we have to get out of bed?  
Jackson: Nate, we’re in New York! Yes! And I’m already out of bed.   
Miller: yah, but I’m not. You should come here and kiss me.   
Jackson: Or you could get out of bed.   
Miller: I like the idea that involves staying in bed.   
Jackson: It’s ok. I see what you love more.   
Miller: Really. You’re pulling the “Who do you love more card” not cool

He smirks and I get out of bed. I walk over to him and give him a kiss. 

Jackson: Was that so hard?  
Miller: I will have you know that it was very difficult. 

He laughs and kisses me again. 

Jackson: I’m sure it was. Now get dressed.   
Miller: Are you my dad now? You force me to get out of bed and now your telling me I have to get dressed? What is this?  
Jackson: Fine I can just sleep in Bellamy’s floor tonight.   
Miller: no, no, no. I’ll get dressed. 

I get dressed and we meet Octavia and Lincoln in the hall. As promised to Octavia I’m wearing a shirt that says “You think I’m cute, just wait til you see my boyfriend.” Octavia smiles when she sees it. We meet the others in the lobby and Lexa wove a rainbow ribbon in her hair and Clarke is wearing a shirt that says, “I’m not gay, but my girlfriend is.” I smile at her. Raven has a pink, purple and blue ribbon in her hair. Jackson is wearing a shirt that says “I’m gay but so is my boyfriend.” which I bought for him. I grab his hand and our group walks outside. We hang out for a while and while we’re in Times Square for Clarke’s Instagram she has us pose for a pride photo. Octavia takes the photo for her. It’s basically just a photo of her kissing Lexa and me kissing Jackson in the background. She posts it and captions it, “find a gayer photo. I’ll wait.” I laugh at that. When it’s time for lunch we find a restaurant near by and all go together. When we’re done with lunch it’s almost time for the parade. I still don’t want to go. Lexa, Clarke, Raven, Shaw, and Octavia all go. Lincoln, Bellamy, Jackson, and I walk around. We leave Times Square and end up around 5th Avenue. We go into a few stores, but we mainly just walk.   
We’re all hanging out when a group of girls walk by. I didn’t think anything about it until Bellamy whistled at one of the girls. They all stoped and walked over to us. Bellamy and some girl started to talk. It was funny because Bellamy’s face was a dark shade of red. He didn’t think they would respond. I was caught up in making fun of Bellamy in my head I didn’t notice the girl beside me trying to get my attention. 

Molly: Hi I’m Molly  
Miller: I’m Miller  
Molly: could I get your number? I’m bi but it seems like you are to so....  
Miller: ummm no I’m taken. Plus I’m gay.  
Molly: I bet I could make you Bi  
Miller: excuse me?!?

She steps towards me and whispered.

Molly: I could make you feel amazing  
Miller: My boyfriend already does that thank you.  
Molly: he doesn’t have to know  
Jackson: oh sweetie trust me I’ll know  
Molly: Who are you?  
Jackson: I’m his boyfriend bitch  
Molly: Well I’m finna be his new bitch   
Jackson: wanna bet

Jackson proceeds to step towards this girl. I immediately jump in between them. 

Miller: You should go  
Molly: Whatever I’m to good for you any way  
Miller: Yah sure. A girl that shows most of her body parts is too good for me Yah sure.

The girl sticks her head up in the air as she walks away. I look over towards my boyfriend. Not gonna lie he looks hot mad. Bellamy gets that other girls number and the rest walk away. As soon they walk away Lincoln starts dying of laughter.   
I’m actually really surprised, because Jackson isn’t the type of person to take steps toward someone. He’s such a peaceful and sweet person. I guess I just never pictured him as a jealous person. We’re holding hands as we walk. I turn to him:

Miller: I think the parade is over, but if you still want to, I’ll go to the festival with you.   
Jackson: Are you sure?  
Miller: Yah.   
Jackson: I would love that. 

He kisses me on the cheek and we stop so I can call Octavia. I find out where they are and turn to Lincoln and Bellamy. 

Miller: we’re going to join the girls and Shaw at the festival, but you guys don’t have to come if you don’t want to.   
Lincoln: we’ll go.  
Miller: ok. Cool

We walk to the part of the festival where the rest of the group is. At this point Lexa has managed to find a shirt with the Lesbian flag on it and is wearing a rainbow flag as a cape. Clarke’s face is bright red just from looking at her. It looks like Clarke isn’t the embarrassing one now. I think Lexa looks great. Raven also has the bisexual flag wrapped around her shoulders and Octavia managed to find a shirt that says, “I’m not gay, but my best friend is” I smile when I read it. She waves when she sees us. We make our way over to them. Octavia has a huge smile on her face. 

Octavia: Hey! How are you guys?  
Miller: We’re Good.   
Octavia: What did you do without us?  
Miller: We walked around for a bit, and then we found a place and hung out.   
Lincoln: Jackson almost fought someone.   
Octavia: What? What happened?  
Lincoln: Some girl was hitting on Miller  
Jackson: She was being a real bitch ok.   
Octavia: Ok. We won’t talk about that. So Nate, What do you think of my shirt?

She does a spin to show it off. I smile and hug her. 

Miller: I love it. Are you having fun?  
Octavia: Yes! Are you?  
Miller: I’m with the people I love most in this world. Of course I’m having fun.   
Octavia: I’m glad. 

I walk over to Jackson and grab his hand. 

Miller: I want to get a flag for my room. Will you come with me to get one?  
Jackson: Of course. 

We walk over to one of the places selling flags and I get one. We start walking over to the group and I smile at Jackson. I’m going to make Clarke proud and commemorate this moment in an instagram post. I walk to Octavia

Miller: Will you take a picture of Jackson and me?  
Octavia: of course!

I wrap the flag around our shoulders like a blanket and kiss him. Octavia takes the picture and I get my phone to post it. This is a big thing for me. I never post on social media. The only reason I have an Instagram is because Clarke made it for me. I post it with the captain, “My Love.” When Jackson sees it he smiles at me. 

Clarke: Oh. My. GOD. Miller actually posted on Instagram. This is a moment I will remember for the rest of my life.   
Miller: It’s not that big of a deal.   
Clarke: I think it is considering, all 2 of your other posts are over a year old and are about football.   
Miller: So what? I like football.   
Clarke: Never mind. You don’t understand.   
Miller: I think I can live with that. 

We stay at the festival for a few more hours until we decide to split up for dinner. Jackson and I find a restaurant to go to. We’re about halfway through dinner when my phone buzzes. Jackson says it’s ok so I look to see what it is. It’s a text from my cousin. Thankful it’s my cousin on my Mom’s side but I don’t know if I can deal with more family after my grandmother. I turn my phone over. 

Miller: it’s not important.   
Jackson: Are you sure? Who is it?  
Miller: It’s just my cousin. I’ll text him back later.   
Jackson: ok.... So, did you like the festival?  
Miller: Yah. It was a lot of fun and of course I got to go with you.   
Jackson: I’m glad we went.   
Miller: Me too. 

We finish dinner and make our way back to the hotel. When we get back to our room, I text John back, “Hey, sorry I was at dinner”  
He responds, “it’s cool. I just wanted to tell you that my mom got a job at your school so I’m going to be moving there for senior year”

Great.....

“Cool! When are you moving?”   
He says, “we get there tomorrow”  
“Cool. I’m not there right now. I’m on vacation with some friends.” I say.   
“Damn. When do you get back?”  
“Monday night”  
“Cool. We’ll have to hang out on Tuesday.”  
“Ok. I have football practice in the morning but I’m free after that.”  
“I could come watch practice”  
“No. You don’t have to.”  
“It’s ok. I want to. My mom will be up at school anyway.”  
“Great. Well I’m super tired, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

I put my phone down and sigh. 

Jackson: Is everything ok?  
Miller: Everything’s Great. 

He can tell I’m being sarcastic. I lay down next to him. 

Jackson: What’s up with your cousin?  
Miller: His mom got a job at our school so he’s moving. And even better he’s a senior too.   
Jackson: I’m sure it won’t be that bad.   
Miller: oh but it will be. Also you and Octavia don’t have to come to practice on Tuesday. I know you guys said you would but you don’t have too. It’s will be boring.   
Jackson: Nate, all football is boring to me, but I go because you play.   
Miller: I know. But he wants to go watch and I don’t want to put you through more of my family.   
Jackson: He can’t be that bad.   
Miller: He’s just... He thinks he’s some badass when he’s not. He’s just not your kind of person.   
Jackson: Nope. I don’t care. Octavia and I will still be there to support you.   
Miller: ok. Suit yourself. 

We talk for a few more minutes, but I get tired so I kiss him and go to bed.   
••   
I wake up before Jackson today. I text Octavia to meet me for breakfast and I get out of bed to go meet her. I go downstairs to meet Octavia and we go for a walk. 

Octavia: Is everything ok?  
Miller: Yah, I guess. You know my cousin John?  
Octavia: Yah. He’s the annoying that thinks he’s better than you and everyone else  
Miller: Well, he texted me last night. His mom got a job at our school so for senior year he’ll be going to school with us.   
Octavia: Well. That’s just fantastic...  
Miller: He says they’re getting there today. And he wants to hang out on Tuesday. Also he’s going to watch football practice  
Octavia: Ok... Did you say something to Jackson?  
Miller: yah. I told him that you two don’t have to go come watch practice on Tuesday if you don’t want to, but he insists on going.   
Octavia: I’m sure everything will be fine.   
Miller: yah, but my aunt will expect me to let him join our group and I’d rather not...  
Octavia: Well, he doesn’t have to join our group, but we can just be friendly.   
Miller: Yah. I guess. I’m just worried. Also as I come into contact with each of them I am slowly realizing that I came out to none of my extended family. I mean I know he’s not homophobic, but he’s still an asshole.   
Octavia: Yah but you can take him. You’ll be fine.   
Miller: I hope so.   
Octavia: Sooooo, on a happier note. How’s Jackson?  
Miller: Good. I think he’s having fun.   
Octavia: I’m sure he is...  
Miller: Shut up! 

I blush. She smirks. 

Miller: How’s Lincoln?  
Octavia: He’s Good. Random question. Does he talk about me?  
Miller: Not really with Bellamy around, but sometimes. You know he asks the same thing about you.   
Octavia: Not surprising. What does he say?  
Miller: I don’t know. You obviously don’t know what we talk about. And I’ll tell you this much it wasn’t until recently that it included our love lives and that’s still rare.   
Octavia: ok.....

We walk for a few more minutes before going back to the hotel. We both go back to our rooms and when I get to mine Jackson’s awake. 

Miller: Oh! Good morning!  
Jackson: Hey! I was just about to call you.   
Miller: I’m right here. 

I smile. 

Jackson: How has your morning been?  
Miller: Fine. I went for a walk with Octavia.   
Jackson: Cool. How was it?  
Miller: It was fine. 

I kiss him and grab his hand. We leave the room to go meet everyone so we can go walk around the city. We met Bellamy in the hall and Clarke and Lexa were the last ones down.   
••   
We’ve been walking around and going in stores for hours. We obviously had a lunch break, but I’m still exhausted. We at lunch late so none of us were super hungry for dinner. We just got back to the hotel and I’m ready to sleep. As soon as we get into the room I go to bed. God. Traveling with Octavia is merciless. I fall asleep almost right away.   
••   
Today is our last full day of our trip since we leave tomorrow afternoon. We’re mainly just splitting up and hanging out today. Jackson and I are having lunch with Lincoln and Octavia right now. 

Octavia: So has everyone had fun?  
Miller: Yah. I mean I guess you had a good idea for once. 

I smirk. 

Octavia: I always have good ideas.   
Miller: Just like the time in 4th grade when you thought it was a good idea to get bangs.   
Octavia: Ok. Fine. I see your point. 

We all laugh. 

Lincoln: I’m sad we’re going back tomorrow, but at least we have football practice.   
Miller: Oh joy....  
Lincoln: What??  
Miller: Oh. Nothing my cousin is moving to our school and I’m not thrilled about it.   
Jackson: Everything will be fine.   
Miller: I think I’ve heard that before.   
Lincoln: Hey. You have us. You’ll survive.   
Jackson: Besides, it’s not like he’ll be living in your house.   
Miller: yah I guess.

I change the subject. We finish last and move on with our days. The rest of the day goes by pretty quickly actually.   
••  
We just got home from New York and when I get home my dad is waiting for me. 

David: How was your trip?  
Miller: It was great.   
David: I’m glad you had fun. I’m glad your home.   
Miller: Actually, I wanted to ask. Did you know that Aunt Maggie and John were moving here?  
David: I found out the day you guys left for your trip. That was the first time I’d heard from them in years. Are you ok with it?  
Miller: I guess. I’m just kinda surprised.   
David: So am I. 

We eat dinner and then I go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be great.......


	16. John

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller meets up with his cousin, John and they go to lunch. It's weird at first, but Miller comes around and has a good time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say, I made the Blakes twins for the sake of the story. I know Bellamy is older, it was just easier.

I drive to football practice and meet Lincoln and Bellamy on the field. Jackson, Octavia, and some other girls are sitting in the stands. John isn’t here. I can’t say I’m mad about that though. Our coaches start practice and about 5 minutes later, and John shows up. I try not to think about hime being here and just get through practice. Practice finally ends and we walk over to the stands. Jackson and Octavia meet us at the bottom. I walk over to get John. 

Miller: Hey!  
John: Hey.   
Miller: Do you want to meet some of my friends?  
John: Sure. 

I walk him over to the group. 

Miller: So this is Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, and...

He goes nothing. (Like I said I know he’s ok with it he’s just. I don’t know)

Miller: this is my boyfriend Jackson. 

He looks a little shocked, but he tries to hide it. 

Octavia: Hi. It’s nice to meet you.   
Jackson: yah, nice to meet you. 

They both smile. 

John: ok…  
Lincoln: So, Do you play any sports?  
John: I play baseball   
Lincoln: oh.. thats cool

Lincoln hates, and I mean hates baseball players. He thinks that they are the most egotistical assholes, and I can’t say I disagree. 

Miller: Ok.... We’re going to head out..

I look at Jackson:

Miller: I’ll see you tomorrow right?  
Jackson: yep!  
Miller: Great

I kiss Jackson and tell everyone bye and we walk to my car. This is only slightly awkward...  
We get into my car and I start driving. 

Miller: So.... How’s your new house?  
John: It’s fine. So, you’re gay?  
Miller: Um yah   
John: When?  
Miller: When did I come out?  
John: Yah.   
Miller: A couple of months ago.   
John: I’m assuming you started dating him a couple months ago too.   
Miller: Jackson? Uh, Yah.   
John: Why didn’t you tell me? I mean I always thought you liked Octavia.   
Miller: Octavia?! No. No. No. no. She’s with Lincoln and she’s my best friend. I mean I came out to my dad and friends I just didn’t really think about extended family.   
John: Well you know that I don’t have a problem with it.   
Miller: Yah. I know. So are you going to try out for baseball?  
John: Yah whenever it’s time for the season.   
Miller: Yah one of my other friends, she plays softball.  
John: Cool. Is she any good?  
Miller: I think so. I mean, I spend most of the games I go to talking to Clarke.   
John: Who’s Clarke?  
Miller: Her girlfriend. She’s cool.   
John: I’m sure…  
Miller: Do you want to meet everyone before school? I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to.   
John: Sure, I don’t care. I mean the only person I know here is you.   
Miller: We can all hang out at my house on Friday.   
John: Sure. 

 

We get to the restaurant and as we’re walking in my phone buzzes, its Jackson:  
“We’re praying for you! I promise you’ll be ok! Love you”  
I smile.   
“It’s fine so far. Love you too”  
We go in and sit down. 

John: So everyone in your group… what’s their deal?  
Miller: Umm. I mean, Octavia is my best friend, she and Lincoln have been dating for like 2 years I think and Bellamy is her twin brother. Lincoln and Bellamy both play football with me. Clarke is great, she is smart, she and Lexa have been dating for like a year, Lexa plays softball and is very smart. Raven is great with technology and is extremely smart, she and Shaw have been dating for a few weeks and Shaw is also good with technology, but I don’t really know him that well. And Jackson is my boyfriend, he’s very smart and extremely good at science.   
John: Great. I haven’t seen you in years. So other than being gay what’s new?  
Miller: I mean... Nothing. My life is super boring. What about you?  
John: I mean I live here now... that’s about it.   
Miller: Great.

We talk throughout lunch and it’s not as bad as I was expecting but it’s still weird. I mean I haven’t seen him in years and now he’s going to go to school with me?! I just don’t know.


	17. Friday Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all hang out at Miller's house so that John can meet everyone. It goes better than Miller was expecting and everyone seems to have fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty short, but I thought it was cute. I hope you enjoy!

So it’s Friday night and everyone is supposed to be hanging out at my house so that John can get to know everyone. I’m not excited about this. I mean Jackson’s here and I’ve spent most of the day with him so that’s good. My dad’s not here so it’s a little less awkward, but like I said, John just isn’t my friends type of person. I mean, at least I don’t think he is. John gets here first and it’s SUPER awkward for a few minutes until Clarke and Lexa get here so, he and Lexa can compare baseball and softball. Soon enough everyone is here. We’re all sitting in the living room, some of us being the gross couples that we are. Octavia is sitting on Lincoln’s lap, Jackson has his hand on my leg and Shaw has his arm around Raven. Clarke and Lexa are sitting next to each other like normal people. We’re all in one big group conversation. 

Bellamy: So what exactly is the difference between baseball and softball?  
Lexa: I can’t believe you just asked that.   
Bellamy: What? I don’t play either.   
Lexa: I have explained softball to you and the next time you ask me to do it I will hit you with my bat.   
Bellamy: Sorry…. I won’t ask again….  
Miller: I mean Lexa, if I’m being honest, I’ve been to a few of your games and none of it makes sense.   
Lexa: Well I feel the same way about football, so I guess we’re even.   
Miller: Hey! Football makes perfect sense!  
Jackson: Babe, no it doesn’t. It just doesn’t. 

I turn to look at him. 

Miller: I’ve explained it to you like 6 times!  
Jackson: And I think it’s adorable that you think I listened. 

He laughs and I put a hurt look on my face.   
He kisses my forehead. 

Jackson: It’s ok. I still love you even if you play the dumbest sport.   
Lincoln: What do you mean, “the dumbest sport”!?  
Jackson: I’m kidding.   
Miller: No he’s not.   
Lincoln: Octavia you understand football don’t you?  
Octavia: Oh sweetie, not in the slightest. Jackson and I just talk through the games.   
Miller: Lincoln, I feel betrayed, don’t you?  
Lincoln: Definitely.   
Bellamy: I think we should just be thankful that they cheer in the right spots.   
Raven: Football is barbaric though. Baseball and Softball aren’t.   
Miller: What the hell Raven? I thought you were on our side here.   
Raven: Miller you know I hate football.   
Miller: Not the point.   
John: I tried football, but it’s not for me.   
Lincoln: what position did they put you at?  
John: Quarterback.   
Lexa: What do you play in baseball?  
John: Pitcher.  
Bellamy: Damn. Quarterback and pitcher you must have a good arm. 

He shrugs. 

Miller: Well we all play defense, so can’t relate to quarterback.   
Jackson: Yes because watching you hit and be hit by people is so much fun for your boyfriend.   
Miller: Hey! I’m good at my position and so is Bellamy. And Lincoln is bigger than everyone else.   
Octavia: What about sophomore year when you broke your wrist?  
Miller: Shut up Octavia! We don’t talk about that!  
Jackson: So Good. So safe...  
Miller: I’m sorry that my safety isn’t up you your standards, Mr. Doctor. 

He hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. 

Jackson: “Mr. Doctor” makes absolutely no sense but you’re still adorable.   
Octavia: Nate, Jackson, we’ve talked about the PDA.  
Miller: We are in my house. 

We both laugh.   
Everyone stays over for about 2 more hours.   
I talk to John as everyone is leaving. 

Miller: So, did you have a good time at least?  
John: Yah.   
Miller: Good. I’m glad

He leaves and I grab Jackson’s hand. 

Miller: My dad won’t be home until late tomorrow morning. Do you want stay?

He kisses me. 

Jackson: I would love to. 

Everyone else leaves. I clean up the living room and Jackson and I go to my room.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a few weeks since the group met John and summer is almost over. Miller has Jackson over since his dad is out of town when he gets a surprise visit from his aunt Maggie and someone he wasn't expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never know what to put in notes lol. Hope you enjoy!

School starts next week and I don’t want summer to end. I just woke up and I’m laying on Jackson’s chest. He’s still sleeping. I love him and everything but I don’t want him to wake up right now. He’s a fan of actually getting out of bed and living life, something I will never understand. My dad is on some police get away thing and he hasn’t been home all week so obviously Jackson has been here pretty much all week. The doorbell rings. God. I don’t want to get out of bed. I sit up, trying not to wake Jackson and go downstairs. I open the door and it’s my aunt Maggie. What is she doing here? She picked the worst time of course. 

Miller: Hello?  
Maggie: Nate! Hey!  
Miller: Hi! What are you doing here?  
Maggie: Well I realized that I’ve been here all summer and I haven’t gotten to see my nephew! Do you want to get breakfast?  
Miller: Umm.. now isn’t really a good time...  
Maggie: oh.   
Miller: I mean, if you can wait a few minutes.   
Maggie: Sure.   
Miller: Do you want to come inside?  
Maggie: Sure.

I bring her inside and take her to the kitchen. She sits down and I go upstairs to talk to Jackson. He’s still asleep. He’s so cute. I feel bad waking him up. I wake him up and he groans. 

Miller: J, you have to wake up  
Jackson: Why? You always stay in bed.   
Miller: Because my aunt is here and she wants to have breakfast with me. 

He sits up. 

Jackson: What?  
Miller: She just showed up and asked if I would have breakfast with her. I tried to tell her that I wasn’t a good time, but here we are now. She’s in the kitchen.   
Jackson: you know I was looking foreword to following your example and just staying here all day.   
Miller: I was too. 

He gets up and changes out of his pajamas. We walk downstairs and sadly you have a clear view of the stairs and the front door from the kitchen so I’m going to have to stop and chat. 

Maggie: Oh good! Are you ready for breakfa-

She pauses. 

Maggie: Oh. Hello. 

We stop.

Miller: Maggie, this is Jackson.   
Maggie: I’m Maggie, Nate’s aunt. It’s nice to meet you.   
Jackson: it’s nice to meet you too. 

He smiles.

Jackson: Ok, well I should go.   
Miller: Ok. I’ll walk you out. 

We walk out to the front porch and I kiss him goodbye. I walk back inside once he’s gone. I’m assuming she wants an explanation. 

Maggie: So, Who’s he?  
Miller: He’s uh, he’s my boyfriend.   
Maggie: Boyfriend huh.   
Miller: I guess I assumed that John said something, but I guess not.   
Maggie: He did not. Well are you ready for breakfast?  
Miller: Yep.   
Maggie: I’ll drive. 

We walk out of the house and get into her car. The car ride is pretty much silent and it’s super awkward. I haven’t seen anyone from this side of the family in years. And now they live here! We sit down at a table and she starts talking. 

Maggie: So, you have a boyfriend?  
Miller: Yah.   
Maggie: That’s Great. How long have you two been dating?  
Miller: About 4 months.   
Maggie: Why didn’t you tell me?  
Miller: I mean I haven’t seen you in years...  
Maggie: I know, but I want you to know that even though you don’t have your mom anymore, you can talk to me.   
Miller: Thanks.   
Maggie: Ok. I want to know everything.   
Miller: What do you mean?  
Maggie: Like, when did you come out? How did you and Jackson start dating? What’s he like? How’s your summer been? Just stuff like that.   
Miller: ok, but what’s with the interest?  
Maggie: Well, like you said I haven’t seen you in years and I have one child and that’s John. He’s not the most open about anything.   
Miller: Ok. Well I came out in like March, but I came out to my best friend first, and then my dad.   
Maggie: And What did they say?  
Miller: She was fine with it. And since Octavia knows me better than anyone, she knew right away that I liked someone.   
Maggie: And What did you say to him?  
Miller: Well, I invited him to lunch with my friends and then we hung out at his house after school and I asked him out.   
Maggie: And you’ve been together ever since.   
Miller: You make it sound like we’re some old married couple. 

She laughs. 

Maggie: Whatever just continue.   
Miller: Well, I made the football team. And Jackson threw me a surprise party for my birthday, but that didn’t end well.   
Maggie: What happened there?  
Miller: It was this whole situation with my dad’s side of the family. It’s complicated.   
Maggie: What happened?  
Miller: I’ll keep it short. My grandmother was in town and she’s super homophobic. She was pretending to be ok with to my face, but to my dad she was not and she would make comments when I would hang out with Jackson or Lincoln and Bellamy and it was super annoying. And on my birthday she had a freak out because I kissed Jackson in front of her and told him that I love him.   
Maggie: I hate that. I’m so sorry.   
Miller: It’s fine... Anyway and then at the end of May, Octavia decided that we should go to New York pride in June, but I didn’t want to go.   
Maggie: I’m assuming she convinced you.   
Miller: I mean I agreed to go if she could get everyone else to agree and they did soo. We went. I mean I didn’t do the parade or anything I just hung out with Jackson, Lincoln, and Bellamy during that.   
Maggie: Did you go at all?  
Miller: Yah. We went to the festival for a little bit. And when we got back I went to football practice and hung out with John.   
Maggie: Well What about this morning?  
Miller: Oh, uhh. My dad’s out of town and Jackson has stayed over a few times. I mean usually it’s Octavia that stays over, but she’s been with Lincoln all week.   
Maggie: ok. So who’s your group?  
Miller: Um, my best friend is Octavia, her boyfriend is Lincoln and her twin is Bellamy. Then there’s Clarke and Lexa, Raven and her boyfriend Shaw and then Jackson.   
Maggie: Are Clarke, Lexa, and Bellamy dating anyone?  
Miller: Well Bellamy and Clarke used to date, when we were like Freshman, but now Clarke and Lexa are dating and Bellamy is still single.   
Maggie: So what classes are you taking next year?  
Miller: Umm, I’m dropping science, so College Algebra, World history, Southern literature, Dystopian literature, Spanish, P.E. again and then I have a study hall.   
Maggie: Why are you dropping science?! I’m a science teacher!  
Miller: I’m not good at science and I like English. You’re teaching AP Bio right?  
Maggie: Yep.   
Miller: Then you’ll have Jackson and Clarke.   
Maggie: That’s Great!  
Miller: yah. 

We finish breakfast and she takes me back to my house. I tell her bye and when I get inside I text Jackson:  
“She just dropped me off, so if you still want to do nothing all day, you can come back”  
“Are you sure? I’ve been there almost everyday this week. Are you not sick of me?”  
“I could never be sick of you”  
“Ok. I’ll be there soon.”

Jackson gets here and we go back to my room because I want to go back to bed. I lay my head down on his chest and as soon as I close my eyes, of course, the doorbell rings. Again. God. Why do people actually want to talk to me today? I get up and go downstairs to answer the door. I answer the door and there’s this woman. She looks so familiar, but I don’t know how. 

Woman: Um. Does David Miller still live here?  
Miller: Yes. Who are you?  
Woman: I’m Meredith. 

Wait a second. Meredith. Shit. That’s my mom’s name. OH MY GOD. That’s why she looks familiar. This woman is my fucking mother. I mean it’s not like I remember her all that well. I was 3 when she “died.”


	19. Meredith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller is shocked but the return of his mom and he doesn’t really know how to react. He agrees to meet with her so that he maybe can get some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy! Sorry I know my spelling sucks but we’re just not going to talk about it.

Why did dad lie to me? I mean I’m going to go through pictures to be sure, but I’m pretty sure. 

Miller: I’m sorry. He’s not here right now, but I can tell him you stopped by.  
Meredith: Ok that would be great. Thank you. 

She turns and walks away. I close the door and let out a deep sigh. I go straight to the photo albums. I start flipping through them to find pictures from when I was like 3 or younger. I find one of me and my mom. It’s her. Oh my god. Dad has some major explaining to do. Good thing he gets home tonight. I go back up stairs and when I walk into the room Jackson sits up. 

Jackson: Is everything ok?  
Miller: Not really.  
Jackson: What happened?? Who was it?  
Miller: Uhh. It was my… my mom…  
Jackson: What?  
Miller: Yah. Umm. It turns out my dad has been lying to me for 14 years.  
Jackson: Did she recognize you?  
Miller: No, maybe... I don’t know. She just asked if my dad was here and I told her no so she left.  
Jackson: Are you sure it was her?  
Miller: She said her name was Meredith and I just looked at photo albums to be sure.  
Jackson: I don’t really know what to say. What do you need?  
Miller: I don’t know. Will you just stay here. I just need you here.  
Jackson: I can do that. 

I lay back down next to him. The same way, with my head on his chest. He kisses my head and I close my eyes. I don’t want to think about her right now.  
••  
I’m awake now and I still don’t know what to think. I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want Jackson to leave. He’s awake. I know that I slept, but I down think he did. I turn over to look at him. 

Jackson: Hey  
Miller: Hi  
Jackson: How are you feeling?  
Miller: I don’t know.  
Jackson: Well, your dad is going to be home soon, so do you want me to stay or go?  
Miller: Please stay. 

We get up and go downstairs to sit on the couch. I lean on Jackson’s chest while we watch tv. He makes me feel safe. My dad texted me that he’ll be home in a few minutes. I still tell Jackson to stay even though he’s hesitant because he knows that I’m going to confront my dad. A few minutes pass and sure enough my dad walks in the door. I get up to go greet him. 

Miller: Hey dad.  
David: Nate! I’m so glad to see you! I missed you.  
Miller: I missed you to.  
David: Hi Jackson, I didn’t know you’d be here.  
Jackson: Hi Mr. Miller  
David: Well, do you want to stay for dinner?  
Jackson: No thank you, I should get going. 

I turn to look at him.

Miller: Are you sure?  
Jackson: Yes.  
Miller: Ok. I’ll walk you out. 

Jackson and I walk outside. 

Miller: I wish you would stay.  
Jackson: I know, but I shouldn’t.  
Miller: Why not?  
Jackson: You need to talk to your dad. I’ll be there for you after.  
Miller: Ok. 

He lifts my chin and kisses me. 

Jackson: I love you.  
Miller: I love you too. 

He drives away and I go back inside. I have to talk to him. I don’t want to, but I need to. Dad cooks dinner and tells me all about his trip. When we sit down at the table he says:

David: So how was your week?  
Miller: It was fine… Actually someone stopped by today looking for you.  
David: Really? Who was it?  
Miller: Um.. It was my mom. 

He sighs

David: Damnit…  
Miller: Dad, why did you tell me she died?  
David: Because I didn’t think she would ever come back. I didn’t think you deserved to live you life knowing that she left us.  
Miller: But, I’ve lived the past 14 years believing that she died.  
David: I’m so sorry Nate… I should have told you sooner.  
Miller: You should have.  
David: What did she say?  
Miller: She asked if you were here and I told her no so she left.  
David: Did she recognize you?  
Miller: No, but she probably knew it was me because you still live here.  
David: Ok..

The rest of the night is kinda silent until I go upstairs to go to bed. That’s when dad picks up the phone and calls her. 

David: You can’t just show up at my house like that.  
***  
Why are you back?  
***  
No. He doesn’t deserve that.  
***  
You left him when he was 3. You can’t say that he’s just as much your son as he is mine, because I raised him, not you.  
***  
Fine. I’ll ask him, but if he says no that’s the end of it.  
He walks upstairs and I quickly get into bed. He comes into my room. 

David: Hey Nate, your mom wants to have lunch with you. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.  
Miller: It’s fine. I’ll do it.  
David: Ok… Is tomorrow ok?  
Miller: Yah.  
David: Ok. Goodnight. 

He leaves the room and tells her what I said. I go to sleep. 

I wake up to texts from Jackson.  
“Hey Babe! How did it go?”  
“Text me when you get up”  
I text him back.  
“It went fine. I didn’t cry and I’m not dead. I’m meeting her for lunch”  
He responds  
“That’s great! Isn’t it? Don’t you want to get to know her?”  
“I mean yes, but it still feels weird.”  
“You’ll be fine! Well, I have to go. I love you! Text me after ok?”  
“I love you too.”

I get out of bed and get dressed. I go downstairs. 

Miller: So what time am I meeting her?  
David: In about 30 minutes.  
Miller: Ok so I’ll leave here in about 15 minutes.  
David: Ok. 

I go back upstairs to lay down for the next 15 minutes.  
I leave and when I get the restaurant I see her waiting for me at a table. She smiles at me. 

Meredith: Nathan! Oh it’s so good to see you!  
Miller: Hi…  
Meredith: Oh, look at you! You’re so grown up!  
Miller: I mean it has been 14 years.  
Meredith; yes... Well I’m here now.  
Miller: But why did you leave me?  
Meredith: It’s complicated.  
Miller: Seriously. You left your husband and 3 year old and all you have to say is “it’s complicated”  
Meredith: I wasn’t ready to be your mom. Is that better?  
Miller: No. do you think dad was ready to be a single parent?  
Meredith: You’re right. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have left.  
Miller: You know there have been times over the years when I really needed my mom, but you weren’t there.  
Meredith: I’m so sorry.  
Miller: Well, Sorry isn’t good enough.  
Meredith: I know... Let’s start over. 

She reaches across the table for a handshake. 

Meredith: Hi. I’m Meredith Miller. It’s nice to meet you

I shake her hand. 

Miller: it’s nice to meet you too...  
Meredith: So, tell me about yourself.  
Miller: What do you want to know?  
Meredith: Do you play any sports? What’s your favorite subject? What’s your best friend’s name? Are you seeing anyone? Stuff like that.  
Miller: Football, English, Octavia, yes.  
Meredith: That’s all I get?  
Miller: Pretty much. I answered everything you asked.  
Meredith: Tell me about Octavia.  
Miller: She’s my best friend. I mean she’s always there for me with everything. Every football game, she brings me breakfast on my birthday and she always knows how to make me smile. She’s just the person who knows me best in this world.  
Meredith: She sounds great. I mean if you didn’t say she was your best friend I would think that you’re dating.  
Miller: No. Octavia has a boyfriend and we will never date.  
Meredith: You know a lot of people date their best friend at some point.  
Miller: Yah. I promise you, that’s not going to happen.  
Meredith: You can never be so sure.  
Miller: Oh, but I am.  
Meredith: How so?  
Miller: Because I’m gay and she’s a girl.  
Meredith: Oh...  
Miller: That’s not what you were expecting was it?  
Meredith: Not really. Umm. You said you’re seeing someone right?  
Miller: Yah.  
Meredith: What’s his name?  
Miller: Jackson.  
Meredith: How long have you been dating?  
Miller: Like 4 months.  
Meredith: What’s he like?? Am I going to have to force this information out of you?  
Miller: Yah. Pretty much.  
Meredith: Ok but, seriously. Tell me about him.  
Miller: Fine... He’s smart and sweet and he makes me happy.  
Meredith: I want to meet him.  
Miller: yah... no.  
Meredith: No?  
Miller: You don’t know anything about your own kid and you think I’m going to introduce you two. No. This isn’t going to be you show up into my life and everything is normal because it’s not.  
Meredith: Nathan....  
Miller: No. Don’t “Nathan” me. I don’t care if you gave me the name or not. I don’t know you. You can call me what everyone else does, and it’s not Nate, not Nathan. No you can call me Miller.  
Meredith: Fine. What about your other friends?  
Miller: What about them?  
Meredith: What are their names? What do they do?  
Miller: Lincoln and Bellamy, football. Clarke, Science. Lexa, softball. Raven and Shaw, technology.  
Meredith: ok.... Tell me about football.  
Miller: I play safety. I broke my wrist sophomore year and I want to be team captain.  
Meredith: Well what did you do this summer?  
Miller: I went on a trip with friends, and football practice.  
Meredith: Where did you guys go?  
Miller: New York.  
Meredith: That sounds fun!  
Miller: Yah it was.  
Meredith: What did you do there?  
Miller: Hung out with friends and went to pride.  
Meredith: That’s Great! What did you do when you got back?  
Miller: I went to football, hung out with my boyfriend and went lunch with my cousin.  
Meredith: Are you ready for school to start.  
Miller: yah. I guess  
Meredith: you’re going to be a senior right?  
Miller: I’m impressed. You actually know how old I am. 

She looks hurt, but I don’t care. Lunch drags on and she keeps asking me questions and I keep giving vague answers. When it ends I go straight to my car. I text Jackson to see if it’s ok for me to come over. He says yes and I drive to his house. When I get to his house I knock on the door and he answers. Before he can even say hi, I hug him and bury my face into his chest. I loose it. There are tears streaming down my face. Jackson manages to get me into the house and to his room. There we sit on the bed. Jackson doesn’t ask questions, he’s just here for me. I move closer to him and bury my face into his chest again. He holds me, because he knows that’s what I need. He knows that I’ll tell him everything, but right now I just need him to be here.


	20. Senior Year.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller is excited about starting senior year but it starts going downhill on the first day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo..... I haven’t posted in a while. Sorry! I’m going to do my best to stay on an every other day schedule but we’ll see. I hope you enjoy!♥️

Jackson: So, she just shows up and expects you to have the perfect mother, son relationship?  
Miller: Pretty much.   
Jackson: She at least tried to get to know you right?  
Miller: yah, but she seems to except me to tell her every little detail of my life. She was asking about Octavia and asking if she could meet you, but I told her no.   
Jackson: Well she doesn’t know you.   
Miller: But she’s not going to know me after eating lunch one time.   
Jackson: You’re right. But do you want to know her? Do you want to have a relationship with her?  
Miller: I don’t know. You know it’s just been me and my dad for pretty much my entire life and now that she’s here it throws everything off.   
Jackson: You have a good relationship with you dad. Don’t let her change that. You don’t have to have a relationship with her if you don’t want to. I know that your dad won’t make you.   
Miller: I know he won’t. Whatever. I’m just done I’m ready for senior year to start and football season. I mean why the hell has family just decided that this year they are all going to come and see me and get to know me and pretty much make my life a living hell.   
Jackson: I wish I had an answer for that.   
Miller: I should probably go...  
Jackson: Ok. Are you sure?  
Miller: Yah. Thank you.   
Jackson: I love you  
Miller: I love you too. 

I kiss him and leave. When I get home dad is sitting at the kitchen table. 

David: How was lunch?  
Miller: It sucked.   
David: I’m sorry Nate.   
Miller: It’s fine. She’ll probably just leave again soon anyway.   
David: oh.. I thought she would tell you.   
Miller: Tell me what?  
David: She got an apartment here.   
Miller: What the hell! She just shows up and expects a relationship with me and now she’s just going to stay?!  
David: You know you don’t have to talk to her. I won’t make you.   
Miller: I know. I’m just honestly done with today. 

I walk upstairs and go to my room. I turn on some music, loud, because I just want to block out the rest of the world. I lay down on my bed and close my eyes, trying not to think about anything.   
••  
I haven’t heard from her in a few days but it’s the first day of school and John is sitting at our lunch table. It’s actually not as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, I was wrong about him. He’s changed. We’re all talking and it’s nice. My nice lunch gets interrupted when my mom walks in. What the hell is she doing here?  
I stand up and cut her off before she completely makes it to our table. 

Miller: What the hell are you doing here?  
Meredith: I’m having lunch with my sister and I wanted to see my son and nephew.   
Miller: Do I look like I want to see you?  
Meredith: I just wanted to come by and say Hello.   
Miller: Well you’ve said your hello. Now leave. 

She looks past me. 

Meredith: John! It’s so good to see you!  
John: Meredith?

He stands up and she moves past me to give him a hug. I go back to my seat. Octavia and Jackson both turn to me. Jackson grabs my hand under the table. 

Octavia: Do you want to go out to the hallway. We can go with you.   
Miller: No. hopefully she’ll leave soon  
Jackson: Are you sure?  
Miller: Lately... I’m not sure about a lot. 

Lexa stands up and walks to my side of the table. 

Lexa: Are you ok Miller?  
Miller: Not really. 

She puts her hand on my shoulder. 

Lexa: Come with me please. 

I look at Jackson and Octavia. I stand up and go with her. We walk out to the hallway. She turns around and gives me a hug. 

Lexa: Look, I know that we’ve never been that close, but I want you to know that I know how you feel.   
Miller: What do you mean?  
Lexa: My mom left me when I was 13. After I came out.   
Miller: Oh my god. I never knew that.   
Lexa: I don’t talk about it much. I think the only person I’ve told is Clarke.   
Miller: It’s just I feel like it’s harder for you because you actually grew up with your mom.   
Lexa: That doesn’t matter. She’s still you mom and no matter if she left you or died, you were still given a chance to accept that she was gone and now that she’s here I can’t image how you feel.   
Miller: To be honest I’m not sure how I feel.   
Lexa: You don’t have to know how you feel. That’s ok. You’ve had people in your life that you looked to as mother figures.   
Miller: I mean yah. Octavia and Bellamy’s mom has always treated me like her kid.   
Lexa: Yah. And I have Abby and my Aunt Anya. So you don’t need her.   
Miller: Thank you.   
Lexa: For What?  
Miller: Coming out here and talking to me.   
Lexa: I just thought you needed someone who understood this type of situation. Now. Do you want to go back in there or I can have Clarke text when she’s gone.   
Miller: Let’s go back.   
Lexa: ok then. 

She links her arm with mine and we walk back to the table. We sit back in our seats and she hasn’t left yet. Jackson grabs my hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. John and Meredith are talking. She turns to look at me. 

Meredith: Nathan, are you going to introduce me to everyone?  
Miller: No. Also there are two people at this table allowed to call me that and last time I checked, which was about 14 years ago, you aren’t one of them.   
Meredith: Fine…. Miller, Will you introduce me to everyone?  
Miller: Yah, I’m going to stick with no.   
Meredith: Come on. Please just let me try to be a part of your life.   
Miller: You had a chance to be a part of my life.   
Meredith: Fine. It was good to see you John. 

She turns and walks away. I let out a deep sigh. Jackson gives me a worried look and Octavia rubs my back to try and comfort me. I just need to make it through lunch. I have my next class with Jackson. When lunch ends we walk to the English room, hand in hand. He’s talking to me, being his normal adorable self and I start to smile. My smile quickly goes away when Meredith stops us in the hall. Why the Hell is she still here. 

Miller: What the hell do you want from me?  
Meredith: I didn’t really get to say hi when the group was there so I just wanted to chat.   
Miller: Well we have class.   
Meredith: It’s fine. If you’re late I’ll write you a note.   
Miller: You can’t do that. You don’t work here.   
Meredith: Actually, I can. I’m the new school nurse. 

What the actual fuck. If this couldn’t get any worse. Where’s Lexa to talk me down when I need her.   
She turns to Jackson. 

Meredith: You must be Jackson! It’s so nice to meet you! I’m Meredith.   
Jackson: It’s nice to meet you too, but Nate’s right we should really go.   
Meredith: Oh. Ok. Well I’ll see you in the halls!

We walk away and thankfully make it to class on time. We sit next to each other and we have like 2 minutes before class starts. 

Miller: What the hell!?  
Jackson: Are you going to be ok?  
Miller: I honestly have no idea. 

He reaches across to my desk and squeezes my hand. 

Jackson: Well, if all else fails, there’s eight of us we can just form a wall around you. 

I smile. 

Miller: God why do you have to be so adorable. 

He smiles and class starts. I make it through the rest of the day and when I get home as usual dad is in his office. 

David: Hey Nate! How was school?

I stand in the doorway of his office. 

Miller: It was fine, I like all my teachers, I had lunch with my friends, John ate with us and to top it all off Meredith is the new school nurse. 

He pauses and looks up from what he’s doing. 

David: What the hell?  
Miller: Yah. She got a job at my school. Not to mention she showed up at my lunch table and stopped me and Jackson in the hall when we were walking to class.   
David: I’m so sorry Nate.   
Miller: Whatever. It’s fine. I’m just going to try and avoid her as much as possible. 

We talk for about another minute and then I go upstairs. I don’t have any work to do so I just sit in my room with loud music on and daydream until it’s time for dinner. I eat dinner with my dad and go to bed because I just want today to be over.


	21. Football Season Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the first football game of the season and of course it doesn’t go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I haven’t been sticking to my schedule so far and I feel bad about it so I’ll post another chapter later lol. Hope you enjoy and keep in mind I’m not a doctor lol😂  
> That statement will make more sense at the end of the chapter!   
> Enjoy!!!♥️

It’s the third week of school and tonight is the first football game. Ok. I say third week of school, it’s Friday and the game is in like an hour. We’re warming up. I can honestly say that football is the one thing going right for me. This year they decided that they are doing co-captains, one defensive player and one offense. The offensive player is the quarterback, Felix, and the defensive player is me. Lincoln and Bellamy were happy for me when we found out even though I know they both wanted it. We finish warming up and the game is about to start. I look over to the stands and our whole group is here. I see my dad, because he makes it a point to always come to at least the first game of the season. I look more through the stands and of course Meredith is here. God. Why did she have to come? Whatever the game is starting. The first possession is ours so I watch the offense play. We score a field goal and the defense gets to go out. I hear our group all screaming our names as we run out onto the field.   
••  
It’s the fourth quarter and the game is almost over. The ball is about to be snapped. The ball is snapped and the quarterback throws it to one of the running backs. As soon as he catches it I tackle him. But something feels off. I hear a crack. That can’t be good. There’s a loud gasp in the crowd, followed by Jackson and Octavia running onto the field and my dad following. Lincoln, Bellamy, the coaches, and refs run over to me. I can’t get up. There’s a group surrounding me and the cheerleaders are all kneeling. I sit up and my ankle is most definitely broken. It’s bad enough that the bone broke the skin. I’m also definitely in shock because it doesn’t hurt. An ambulance gets here and they take me to the hospital. Dad rides there with me and a few minutes after we get to the hospital Octavia and Jackson show up. They look so worried. They have to do surgery because the bone broke the skin so they can clear out bacteria and set it.   
••  
The surgery is over and I can’t feel my leg. The nurse goes to tell my dad that he can come in. He comes in, Jackson and Octavia following him. 

Miller: Fun first game of the season?

Jackson especially does not look amused. 

Miller: Oh come on. I’m fine.   
Jackson: Yes the fact that you couldn’t get up off the field and now we’re here says how fine you are.   
Miller: I mean I’m not dead.  
Octavia: You really scared us.   
Miller: I’m sorry.   
David: I’m sorry that this happened Nate.   
Miller: It’s not your fault. 

It’s just now kind of hitting me that I can’t play. I don’t know if there will be any games left by the time my ankle is better. God. Football was all I had left. 

Miller: Can we just go home now?  
David: Yah. I’ll talk to the doctor.

He leaves and Jackson sits down next to me and grabs my hand. 

Octavia: I’ll give you two a minute. 

She walks out and Jackson shakes his head. 

Miller: Hey. I’m ok really.   
Jackson: I know, but watching you get hurt scared me to death.   
Miller: this is just how my life is going right now.   
Jackson: It sucks. 

I look at him and there are tears streaming down his cheeks. I reach and wipe them away. I guess I didn’t realize how worried he was. 

Miller: I mean I can’t play football now so I can’t get any more hurt. 

He smiles. 

Jackson: Really. That’s how you’re looking at it.   
Miller: I’m looking from your perspective.   
Jackson: Yah. That’s not how I see it at all.   
Miller: Well. I tried. 

He smiles. I love his smile. I smile too.   
A few minutes later we leave. Jackson is the only one with a car so he has to drive us all back to campus to go to my dad’s car. We tell them goodnight and go home. Dad sets me up on the couch for the night and we both go to bed. Tonight has really sucked. I’m not looking forward to the rest of the year if it going to be like this.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I suck at summaries lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m not naming chapters anymore because I’m lazy and not creative lol. I’m posting again today because I felt bad about getting off schedule lol. Enjoy!

I wake up to a group of people with balloons and flowers standing in front of me. Everyone came to make sure I’m ok. Lincoln and Bellamy look almost as upset as Octavia and Jackson. 

Miller: Don’t worry. I’ll still be at every game and practice. And if the team makes it far enough through the season I’ll be back for the playoffs.   
Lincoln: But this still sucks.   
Miller: I knew something was wrong from the moment I went down. It happens.   
Bellamy: But it’s senior year and you just made captain.   
Miller: Are you trying to make me feel worse.   
Bellamy: No. sorry.   
Miller: It’s fine. I’m ok, really. I am. 

The group stays over for a little longer. When everyone leaves, Jackson stays with me. Since I’m stubborn and I want to lock myself in my room, I force them to help me upstairs. I get up to my bed and prop my crutches against the wall. I get in bed and Jackson sits next to me. He still looks sad. 

Jackson: How are you feeling?  
Miller: I’m fine. Sore.   
Jackson: I’m sorry. I hate this.   
Miller: It’s fine. We’ll make the best of it.   
Jackson: Ok... I just know how important football is to you.   
Miller: Yah... Can we talk about something else? How do you like my Aunt’s class?  
Jackson: It’s good. She’s a good teacher.   
Miller: That’s Great. I’ll have to tell her that she got good reviews from the smartest person I know. 

I smile. He laughs and shakes his head. 

Jackson: If I’m the smartest person you know, you really need to broaden your horizons.   
Miller: I’m perfectly happy with the people I know. 

I lay my head back on my pillows. I move over more so Jackson can have more room. He lays next to me with his head on my shoulder. I’m still propped up, but I guess I fall asleep because when I wake up he’s gone. Dad brings me lunch and when he goes back downstairs the doorbell rings. 

David: Meredith what do you want?  
Meredith: I just want to make sure he’s ok.   
David: His ankle is broken. He’ll be ok. People have been in and out of here all day, let him have a break.   
Meredith: I’m his mother. I want to see him.   
David: He doesn’t want to see you.   
Meredith: Fine... I’ll come back later.   
David: Don’t. 

He closes the door. My phone starts buzzing. I pick it up, praying it’s not Meredith. It’s Lexa. I answer the FaceTime call. 

Miller: Hey.   
Lexa: How are you holding up?  
Miller: You were here earlier.   
Lexa: I know. I’m just checking in on everything, not just your ankle.   
Miller: Fine. I guess. She just came by, but my dad told her to leave.   
Lexa: Well, your dad stopped her. That’s good.   
Miller: Yah, but she’s been so fucking persistent. I know she’s not going to take no for an answer.   
Lexa: Well, we can keep telling her no. She’ll have to give up eventually and she can’t do anything when you turn 18.   
Miller: Yah, but that’s months away.   
Lexa: Then you’ll just have to outlast her.   
Miller: I’ll try. 

We talk for a few more minutes and then I hang up. This is going to be the longest fucking weekend ever. I can’t do anything and I hate it. Wait. I text Lincoln and Bellamy.   
“Is there practice tomorrow”  
Lincoln- “Yes Why”  
Miller- “I want to go”  
Bellamy- “Are you sure?”  
Miller- “Yah. I’ve been sitting here all day and I hate it. I have to do something”  
Lincoln- “ok then. I can come pick you up.”  
Miller- “Thanks!”

Thank god for Sunday practice. This gives me something to do with my life. The day continues to drag on and on. Eventually I get so bored I just fall asleep.   
••  
Lincoln is going to be here in a few minutes to get me. Dad doesn’t want me to go. He wants me to rest for one more day before school, but I hate just sitting in my room doing nothing like that. I mean yes I like spending all the time I can in my bed, but I can also get up and leave when I want to I don’t have to rely on crutches or someone picking me up.   
Lincoln rings the doorbell and I answer. 

Lincoln: You’re still sure you want to go?  
Miller: I’m sick of just staying here and it’s only been a day, I’m sure.   
Lincoln: Ok. 

We get into the car and go. I refuse to let him help me in or out. We get to the field and I go stand next to our coaches for practice. They’re happy to see me there, but I know they wish I could play. I do too. They let me talk to the guy taking my spot. I mean he does a good job. He’s a sophomore named Atom. I don’t really know him that well, but I think as long as he doesn’t do what I did, he’ll be fine. After practice a bunch of the players come over to talk to me. I want to play so bad. I’m still not sure that it’s fully sunk in yet to be honest. I convince Lincoln and Bellamy to go to dinner. I just don’t want to go home yet. Dinner is nice. Lincoln and Bellamy clearly try to avoid the topic of football. Which is nice, but kind of hard because of how much we actually talk about football. Bellamy takes me home because he lives closer to me than Lincoln does. I go to bed when I get home. Thank god I have school tomorrow. I never thought I would say that.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk how to summarize it. Can I I quit summaries?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo this chapter is a little dramatic I guess. This is kind of short so I might post again later but we’ll see. Enjoy!♥️

Well so far today has sucked. I’ve had two study halls and it’s not even lunch yet. I can’t do anything in gym so they just give me a study hall and then I have study hall after that. We’re about halfway through history when the teacher’s classroom phone rings. 

Teacher: Uh huh. Ok. He’s on his way.   
Miller, you are being called to the nurse’s office. 

Fuck. She’s literally calling me out of class. I look at Lexa. I roll my eyes and get up. I mean I takes me twice as long because of the stupid crutches but I don’t care. I don’t want to go anyway. I make my way there slowly when I walk into her office she smiles. 

Miller: Why are you calling me out of class?  
Meredith: Well, not only am I your mother, I’m the nurse. I want to make sure you’re ok.   
Miller: I’m fine. Can I go back to class now.   
Meredith: No. sit down.   
Miller: I said I’m fine.   
Meredith: And I said sit down. Now do it. 

I roll my eyes and sit. 

Meredith: So how are you feeling?  
Miller: Oh I’m great. I can’t play football, I have to wait for other people to do certain things for me, I can’t leave my room without help, and I’m sitting here with you. Never been better.   
Meredith: How is your ankle?  
Miller: What do you think?  
Meredith: Are your friends helping?  
Miller: No they’re leaving me to fend for myself. Of course they’re helping me!  
Can I go yet?  
Meredith: fine. But I’ll talk to you later.   
Miller: Only if I say so. 

I get up and leave. She tries to help me but I push her away. I go back to class and by the time I get there I just pack up and leave. I walk to lunch with Lexa and we talk about what happened. We sit down at our table and lunch is pretty normal. Thank god. I make plans with Jackson for after school. Which of course makes the day drag on more.   
••   
Jackson and I have been hanging out for about an hour. We’re sitting on the couch and since my dad’s not here we’ve mainly been kissing. I love him. He gets up to go the bathroom and the doorbell rings. I get up to answer it. 

Meredith: Nathan, don’t close the door. I just came by to check on you.   
Miller: I’m fine.   
Meredith: Are you sure? You don’t seem fine.   
Miller: You know what I’m not fine. These last few weeks have sucked and you know why? Because you show back up into my life after fourteen fucking years, you don’t seem to understand that I want nothing to do with you and I got to the point where all I had left was football. Well guess what. That’s gone too. So yah. I’m so fucking great.   
Meredith: if you would just talk to me.   
Miller: I don’t want to talk to you! I want you to leave me the fuck alone!

I slam the door before she can say anything else. I look behind me and Jackson is about halfway down the stairs. He looks like he was just stabbed in the heart. Shit. That’s not what I meant. 

Jackson: I think I’m gonna go. 

He walks towards the door. I have trouble going after him but I try. 

Miller: Jackson! Jackson! Wait!

He won’t stop. Fuck it. I drop the crutches and go as fast as I can. I grab his arm. 

Miller: Jackson...  
Jackson: What does it matter if I leave? You said it yourself football was all you had left.   
Miller: That’s not what I meant.   
Jackson: I think it is. You know I have been here through everything. Even when you wouldn’t talk to me. I have been here. And this is what I get.   
Miller: Jackson.. Baby. Please I didn’t mean it like that. I love you so much. 

Tears are streaming down both of our faces. I grab his hand but he pushes me away. He turns and walks away. 

Miller: Jackson! Please don’t leave! Jackson!

He doesn’t turn around. He gets into his car and leaves. I make my way back to the porch and sit. I burst into tears. My heart hurts like someone tried to rip it out of my chest. I bury my face into my hands and continue crying. I didn’t mean it like that. I love him so fucking much. My dad pulls into the driveway, gets out of his car and runs towards me. 

David: Nate What happened???

I hug him and bury my face into his shoulder. 

Miller: Jackson and I had a fight. 

He hugs me back. 

David: If it’s just a fight then, What happened?  
Miller: Meredith came by and I snapped at her. I said something I didn’t mean how it sounded.   
David: What do you mean?

I cry even more. My voice breaking so much I’m impressed dad can understand me. 

Miller: I hurt him. He looked like I had stabbed him in the heart. I love him so much and I hurt him.   
David: Talk to him.   
Miller: I tried.   
David: I’m so sorry Nate. I think he just needs a little space, can you give that to him?  
Miller: I think so.   
David: Ok good. Now let’s get you inside. 

He pulls me up and gets me back on my crutches. He takes me to my room. I crawl into bed and bury my face into my pillows. I feel like I’m over reacting but I don’t even care. I love him so much. I don’t ever want to hurt him. I continue crying until I fall asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to hang out at Shaw’s and things get interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it’s only like day 2 but I’m vaguely sticking to my schedule😂  
> I mean tbh if I get bored I might post again but idk. You never know.  
> I’m still bad at summaries lol.   
> Anyway, Enjoy!♥️

Shaw: So, it’s Friday night, and my parents aren’t home. Do you guys what to hang out at my place. 

I mean, we’ve never hung out at Shaw’s before. To be honest none of us really know him, except Raven. 

Clarke: Sure. Why not.   
Octavia: Ok.   
John: Sure.   
Lexa: Yah.   
Lincoln: ok  
Bellamy: Sounds great.   
Jackson: yep.   
Raven: I mean I’ll be there anyway.   
Miller: I mean other wise my Friday night is super boring, there’s no football game and I can’t drive myself anywhere sooo, yah.   
Shaw: Ok then. We can all meet at my house at 7.   
••  
I’m waiting for Jackson to come pick me up. When he gets here I get in the car and we go to Shaw’s. When we get there he lets us in and it’s kinda awkward at first until everyone settles in and we start talking.   
Can we just take a moment to appreciate the fact that we are all those annoying gross couples. I’m practically laying on Jackson, we’re sitting in the floor leaning on the couch, I’m leaning in him and he has his arm around me. Lexa is sitting on the couch with Clarke laying in her lap. Raven is sitting in Shaw’s lap and Octavia has her legs across Lincoln’s lap. Then there’s John and Bellamy just kind of sitting awkwardly. 

Shaw: So, does anyone want drinks? There’s beer in the fridge.   
Raven: I’ll take one.   
Clarke: I’m good.   
Lexa: I’ll take one.   
Bellamy: Me too.   
Lincoln: Why not.   
Octavia: Won’t your parents notice? Plus we’re underage.   
Shaw: Nah. There’s always extra in the garage. So, we’re seniors! Let’s live a little!  
Octavia: I’ll live when I’m 21.   
Shaw: Suit yourself. Miller, Jackson, John?  
John: No thanks.   
Jackson: I’m good.   
Miller: Sure. I’ll take one. 

Jackson looks at me. He seems surprised. I mean I’ve never had a drink in my life, but at the rate my life is going, why the hell not? Plus, Shaw’s right, We’re seniors. Let’s live a little. 

Miller: What?  
Jackson: Nothing. Just not what I was expecting...

I kiss him and smile. 

Miller: Well I’m full of surprises.   
Octavia: You are literally the most predictable person I know.   
Miller: What? So I can’t change it up every once in a while   
Octavia: No! You’re the one who constantly complains about change.   
Miller: Well, I’m changing things up. 

Shaw brings the drinks. I take a drink and, my god it’s awful. Jackson laughs at me, but I suffer through and drink more.   
Most of us are drunk at this point. I also have figured out that I’m a lightweight. Raven is super giggly, Lexa is crying, Shaw is pretty normal, Bellamy is like super brutally honest, and Lincoln is hugging Octavia. He won’t let her go and he gets really upset when she moves. I don’t know what I am. I mean I can’t get up and do anything stupid so I’m just sitting here with Jackson. I turn to look at him and smile. 

Miller: You’re so adorable.   
Jackson: Thank you. You are too babe.   
Miller: Yah, but you’re just like the best person on earth. You’re so smart and cute and you’re just you. 

I kiss him. We keep kissing. He pulls away. 

Jackson: So you’re a horny drunk.   
Miller: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just love you so much right now. 

I kiss him again. He laughs and puts his arm around me. I frown because I just want to kiss him right now. 

Jackson: Are you going to be sad because I won’t kiss you?  
Miller: Maybe.   
Jackson: It’s ok. I promise, later.   
Lexa: You know I have the best girlfriend ever!

Clarke is hugging her trying to get her to stop crying. Octavia starts to stand up and come over here, but Lincoln doesn’t want her to leave. She Compromises with him, by holding his hand and bringing him. 

Octavia: Jackson, what are we going to do about these two?  
Jackson: I don’t know. I mean I drove Nate here so, I guess I’ll just take him back to my house.   
Octavia: Well, his dad definitely cannot see him drunk. So just text him from his phone I guess.   
Jackson: What are you going to do about your brother and Lincoln?  
Octavia: Well I can’t leave Lincoln, apparently he has separation anxiety when he’s drunk. And Bellamy is just another problem. Our mom is going to be so pissed.

Octavia looks at me and then she looks at Lincoln. She shakes her head and laughs. 

Octavia: I guess I never pictured Lincoln as the clingy drunk and I definitely didn’t picture Nate being a horny drunk. 

Jackson laughs. 

Jackson: I know I thought he would be a clingy drunk.   
Octavia: I saw him more of the sad and clingy drunk. 

They both laugh. 

We stay over for a little longer and at some point Jackson took my phone to text my dad. He drives me to his house and helps me to his room. He gets me in bed and I kiss him. 

Jackson: Hey, you need to go to sleep.   
Miller: But you said later.   
Jackson: Exactly, I said later, I didn’t say when later was going to be. Now go to sleep.

I put a hurt look on my face and he smiles. He kisses my forehead and gets in bed next to me. I lay my head on his chest and close my eyes.   
••  
God. No. Why did he have to turn on the light. I put a pillow over my face. 

Miller: Why did you turn the light on.   
Jackson: Because, you need to get up, so you can not look completely hung over in front of your dad. 

He grabs the pillow I was holding over my face. 

Jackson: Come on. I’m getting you breakfast and then you’re going home.   
Miller: Ugh. Fine. Come help me up. 

He grabs my crutches and pulls me out of bed. I wash my face with water, so I look less dead. We go downstairs and get to Jackson’s car. We get in and he drives to go get breakfast. I feel a lot better after breakfast and he takes me home. 

Miller: Do you have to leave?  
Jackson: Sadly Yes. I’ll talk to you later.   
Miller: Ok...

He kisses me and I get out of the car. I open the front door to see Meredith sitting at the kitchen table with my dad. Yah. Nope. We’re not doing this today. I close the door and turn back to Jackson. I shake my head. 

Jackson: What’s wrong??  
Miller: She’s here.   
Jackson: God. What do you want to do?  
Miller: Well, I want to leave, but I can’t just hide from her. Will you come in with me?  
Jackson: Sure. I’ll text my mom and tell her I’ll be late.   
Miller: Are you sure?  
Jackson: Yep. 

He texts his mom and gets out of the car. I open the door and actually go in this time, with Jackson behind me. 

Meredith: Good morning boys!  
Miller: What the hell are you doing in my house?  
Meredith: I was just talking to your dad. 

I shoot my dad a look. 

David: I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting you home so soon.   
Miller: Whatever, I’m going to my room.   
Meredith: Let me help you. 

She makes a move to come help, but I cut her off. 

Miller: No. Jackson can help me. 

She sits back down and Jackson helps me to my room. I get in my bed and he sits down next to me. 

Miller: You don’t have to stay.   
Jackson: Do you need me to stay?  
Miller: I don’t know.   
Jackson: Well, I’m just a phone call away ok?  
Miller: Ok...

I try to force a smile, he kisses me and leaves. When I hear the front door shut there are footsteps coming up the stairs. Meredith pops her head into my room. 

Meredith: Hey sweetheart! How are you doing?  
Miller: I’m not your sweetheart. 

She walks into my room and sits on the foot of my bed. She looks around my room. I mean there’s not much to look at. My room is fairly simple. It’s clean, as of right now, and there’s a few things on the walls. Her eyes land on the rainbow flag on my wall. 

Meredith: Is that from when you guys went to pride?  
Miller: Yah.   
Meredith: That’s Great. I’m glad you embrace who you are.   
Miller: It’s just a flag hanging on my wall.   
Meredith: It’s more than that. It’s a statement about who you really are.   
Miller: Yes, I’m gay, but there’s more to me than that. The people who love me know that.   
Meredith: I love you.   
Miller: You don’t know me.   
Meredith: I want to know you.   
Miller: Well you lost that chance.   
Meredith: Nathan, please.   
Miller: No. You left me. That’s not just something I can forgive and forget. Just because you are in my house and you are looking at a flag on my wall acting like you know me doesn’t mean you do. Now just leave. I want to be alone. I want to have a normal senior year where, I can hang out with my friends and my boyfriend and not have to worry about you.   
Meredith: Fine...

She gets up, looks at the flag one more time and leaves. I hear the front door close and I lay my head back. I pick up my phone. Octavia texted. 

Octavia-   
“How’s the hangover?”  
Miller-  
“My head hurts and when Jackson woke me up it was not fun”  
Octavia-  
“My vote says you should never drink again”  
Miller-  
“I don’t know. It was fun while it lasted.”  
Octavia-  
“I’m sure it was, considering all you wanted to do was have sex”  
Miller-  
“Hey. Look now you have to get drunk so I can make fun of you.”  
Octavia-  
“Yah. Not going to happen.”  
Miller-   
“Well then I’ll just have to get something else to hold against you”  
Octavia-  
“First, you’re my best friend, you probably have plenty of stuff. Second, my boyfriend and my brother know nothing, so good luck with that.”   
Miller-  
“I’ll figure something out. Ok. The phone screen is hurting my eyes. I’ll talk to you later.”  
Octavia-  
“Have fun with your hangover”

I turn some music on and put my phone down. It’s moments like this where the broken ankle really sucks. I know I would probably just sit here and do nothing anyway, but it’s the fact that if I want to leave I have to call someone to pick me up and call my dad for help downstairs and it’s just so annoying. It’s only been a week. I still have five more weeks like this. God. And then there’s physical therapy. I love Jackson and I know he’s just trying to be optimistic, but I know my football career is over. I just need to except it at this point.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller is struggling. He's kid if done with a lot at this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm posting again because I'm bored lol. I'm not really sure where I was going with this chapter but enjoy anyway!❤️

At this point I’m keeping track of time based on when I get this stupid cast off. I’ve had it on for about 5 weeks now, so I get it off at the beginning of next week. I’m walking down the hall with Jackson, I kinda feel bad because he has to carry my books for me. We’re talking and I’m really happy. My smile fades when I’m stopped by Finn. God, I haven’t heard from this asshole in months and he choses now to bother me. 

Finn: Well, if it isn’t the lovely couple.   
Miller: What do you want Finn?  
Finn: I just wanted to give you my condolences on your football career.   
Miller: I’m not in the mood for your bullshit.   
Finn: Well, that’s hurtful, I’m just trying to be nice.   
Miller: No you’re not. You’re being a dick.   
Finn: You must like that then. 

I’m so fed up with him at this point. I don’t even think about what I’m doing. I drop my crutches and I hit him. He falls to the ground. He and Jackson both have the same shocked looks on their faces. Meredith comes running and she stands in between us. He stands up and just looks pissed. 

Meredith: Nathan! What is going on here??  
Miller: Nothing.   
Meredith: Well, it doesn’t look like nothing. 

She tries to put her hand on my shoulder but I push her off and stumble back. Jackson drops my books and catches me.   
I push Jackson away leaning on the lockers. I grab my crutches putting them under my arms. I look over at Meredith and Finn. Finn grabs his stuff and walks off clearly pissed. My eyes now focus on Meredith. 

Miller: Stay the hell away from me 

Jackson tries to come towards me but I just rush off. I know he’s trying to help but I want to be alone right now. I walk down the hall way ignoring Jackson and Meredith calling my name. I get so caught up in my head that I don’t realize where I’m actually going. In the end I make it back to the place this all started. The football field. It’s like a desert out here. I mean everyone should be in class right about now. I sit down on the bleachers. I hold my head in my hands. Everything has gone to shit. My football career is over. My so called mother is back in town and won’t leave me the hell alone. I broke my ankle. I now have to depend on everyone around me. I let out a big sigh. It just dawned on me I shouldn’t have treated Jackson like that. It was just in the heat of the moment. I felt someones hand on my shoulder. At this point I don’t even care who it is. 

Jackson: Listen Nate I know things are hard right now and it seems like the world is against you but, I want you to know I’m always here for you no matter what. If you need me I’ll always be there for you no matter the circumstances. I love you babe.

I didn’t even say anything back. I pulled him into a hug. I really needed to hear that to be honest. 

Miller: I’m sorry for pushing you…..I was just upset.   
Jackson: I know and it’s okay.  
Miller: I love you Jackson  
Jackson: I love you too, Nate.  
Miller: Wanna ditch the rest of the day and go get ice cream.   
Jackson: Sure but only this once. 

We get up and start making our way to the parking lot. We find Jackson’s car and get in. He turns his car on and we drive to the small Ice cream shop. Jackson parks the car and we walk up to the window to order. 

Miller: Can I get one chocolate cone and one vanilla cone.

I give the guy some money and he goes to get our ice cream. We’re standing here waiting for Ice cream. The dude sticks his head out of the window and hands us our ice cream. We take it and sit over on this bench. I looked at my phone and saw it was three o’clock. We saw kids pilling out of this high school across from this ice cream shop. Some were making their way over here. It didn’t really bother me at first. That was until we saw three guys with girls under their arms making their ways towards us. Oh great some cocky assholes.   
Dude: Hey you remember me?  
Miller: No   
Dude: I’m the one who gave you that broken ankle.

His friends and their girls started to laugh. I just want to eat my ice cream in peace. I lifted my eyebrow and sighed. 

Miller: Really because I think everyone remembers it as, I tackled your sorry ass.

His friends stoped laughing and this dude looked extremely pissed. I felt Jackson grab a hold of my arm. 

Jackson: Let’s just go their not worth it. 

I stood up with the help of Jackson. We were about to leave when that jerk opened his big mouth again. 

Dude: So you must be the bitch in this relationship. 

I kept walking until he crossed the line.

Dude: How about we make his little boyfriend our bitch.

Without thinking I turned towards this dude smashing my ice cream in his face. Before he could recover I practically jumped on him. Knocking him to the ground. I may not be able to stand and fight but I sure as hell can when I’m on the ground. I was on top of this dude fighting him. How dare he talk about Jackson like that. I was suddenly pulled off. I looked to my side and saw Jackson. He handed me my crutches and we rushed towards his car. The ride was silent as we made our way towards Jackson’s house. He helped me inside. He sat me down on the sofa and went to the kitchen. He came back with the first aid kit. He cleans my knuckles up. It’s getting late so we go up to Jackson’s room and watch some movies. We end up cuddling in bed. Before I fall asleep I hear Jackson say something. 

Jackson: You know Nate, you’re a complete idiot, but your my idiot.

With that I fall asleep cuddling Jackson.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm still bad at summarizes brb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo I forgot to post. We all saw this coming sorry. I'll post again later maybe twice we'll see. Hope you enjoy! Sorry I'm bad at life and forget to post.🙄😂😂

I’m sitting in the waiting room at the doctor. Jackson and dad are sitting on either side of me. One of the nurses comes out and calls my name. We go back to see the doctor. 

Doctor: Are you ready to get your cast off?  
Miller: You have no idea.  
Doctor: Great. Let’s get started. 

Jackson looks really happy. I can’t tell if it’s because I get my cast off or because he loves this doctor stuff so much. The doctor gets out his tools and starts working on my cast. Jackson is watching closely. He’s so cute. 

Miller: Are you enjoying yourself Jackson?

He smiles. 

Jackson: Maybe a little.  
Miller: So, I need to hurt myself more often?  
Jackson: No. Definitely not. Please don’t. 

The doctor finishes taking off my cast and I never thought I would be so happy to see my foot. I smile. 

Doctor: Ok so, you can walk when you’re ready, but you still have to do 2 months of physical therapy.  
Miller: Great. 

He turns to my dad. 

Doctor: So, you have some papers to sign.  
David: Yes. 

The doctor leads dad out of the room to go sign some paperwork. I smile at Jackson and stand up. 

Jackson: How does it feel?  
Miller: Great.  
Jackson: so what do you want to do?  
Miller: Are you an option?

He laughs. 

Jackson: Seriously.  
Miller: Fine, walk around. I just want to go walk.  
Jackson: Ok then. 

He smiles. My dad and the doctor come back into the room. 

David: Are you ready to go?  
Miller: Absolutely.  
David: Ok. Let’s go. 

We leave the doctor and I have a little bit of a limp, but I’m just so happy to be off of those crutches. I start PT tomorrow after school, so that’s like another 6 weeks of my life. I mean the doctor said it depends on the person, but it’s usually 6 weeks. I mean the football team has been doing really well, so if I’m lucky I’ll be back for the end of conference or beginning of state. Thank god. I’ve been on the sidelines for every game and I just want to play so bad. I mean Atom hasn’t been doing too bad, but you know. I just want to play. We’re in the parking lot and Jackson turns to me. 

Jackson: Are you ready to walk into school tomorrow?  
Miller: So ready. 

He smiles. 

Jackson: I’m glad. 

He kisses me and walks to his car. I smile. 

David: Well, someone’s happy.  
Miller: I can walk without those stupid crutches, limp or not I’m happy.  
David: Good. Now I don’t have to help you up and down the stairs.  
Miller: I think we’re both happy about that. 

He laughs and we go to the car. When we get home he makes dinner, we eat and I go upstairs. I haven’t been able to go upstairs by myself in over a month. Thank god I’m done with those stupid crutches. I finish whatever work I have and go to bed.  
••  
I’m about to walk into school. I’m actually excited. Well, I’m mainly excited to see Octavia. I walk in and she’s standing with Jackson at our lockers. When she sees me her face lights up. I walk over to the and she hugs me, practically tackling me. 

Miller: Hey, you know tackling someone is what got me hurt in the first place.  
Octavia: Shut up! I’m just so happy you’re better!  
Miller: Well, I still have physical therapy and a limp.  
Octavia: You can still walk. So that’s good.  
Miller: Yah, but I still can’t do anything in P.E. The doctor doesn’t want to me lifting weights.  
Jackson: Well, I think that’s most upsetting for me.  
Miller: Haha. Good to know you love me. 

He smiles and hugs me. 

Jackson: I do love you. Now, more importantly how are you feeling?  
Miller: I’m great. I mean I can walk. 

He laughs.

Jackson: So, when are we going to have a celebratory group dinner?  
Miller: Oh god. Do we have to?  
Octavia: Yes!  
Miller: I feel that we don’t.  
Octavia: You reject every idea that we have.  
Miller: That’s not true!  
Octavia: You didn’t want to go to Pride.  
Miller: Yes and I lost that fight. So I’m guessing I’m going to lose this one too.  
Jackson: You definitely are.  
Miller: Fine. We can do it on Friday.  
Octavia: I knew you would see it our way!  
Miller: Yah, yah. Well I have to go to class. I get to have fun with my two study halls in a row!

I walk to the gym. When I get there I find a spot to sit and work. I usually sit where I can both work and watch P.E. Most of the people in the class are freshmen, since I’m one of the few that actually want to take P.E. more than once and you’re only required to take a semester. It’s actually pretty entertaining to watch the freshmen play games in P.E. I don’t know why it just is. When class ends I get up and walk to the study hall room. I don’t have study hall with Clarke this year, sadly, but I have it with Lexa. When I get to the classroom I sit next to her inside. 

Lexa: Look at you, walking without crutches!  
Miller: I know, it’s great right. I even have this new limp to go with it. 

She laughs. 

Miller: Bonus, it makes running away from Meredith a lot easier.  
Lexa: Well that’s always a bonus. So, when can you play football again?  
Miller: After physical therapy. So a few more weeks.  
Lexa: I bet you’re happy.  
Miller: You have no idea.  
Lexa: We can just pray that they make it to state.  
Miller: Especially since conference starts next week. Oh god. And senior night is this Friday.  
Lexa: Oh. That sucks.  
Miller: I know. This is not how I wanted my senior night to go. I’m going to spend it on the sidelines.  
Lexa: Well, you’ll still be recognized.  
Miller: I know. I just want to play.  
Lexa: I get that. I’ll be there anyway.  
Miller: But you hate football.  
Lexa: Yah but, you, Lincoln, and Bellamy play, so I’ll be there.  
Miller: All right then. 

We talk for the whole period. I mean I got all of my work done last period so I had nothing else to do. I’m glad that Lexa and I have gotten closer this year. I walk to the English room and sit down next to Bellamy and Lincoln. Since I’m in two English classes I have one with Jackson and one with Lincoln and Bellamy. They look happy to see me. 

Bellamy: Well, look who’s walking around!  
Miller: It’s great. I know.  
Lincoln: So, this mean you’ll be back soon?  
Miller: If physical therapy goes well, then yah. I’ll be back soon.  
Lincoln: Thank God.  
Bellamy: We’ve missed you on the field.  
Miller: Oh you have no idea how much I miss it.  
Lincoln: You’re still coming to senior night right?  
Miller: Of course, but I don’t think I’m going to make my dad come.  
Lincoln: Why not?  
Miller: I’m not going to play. It’s just not worth it.  
Lincoln: He should still come. I mean you’re a senior. You’ll still be recognized as a member of the team.  
Miller: I know. I just want to play.  
Lincoln: I understand that. 

Class starts and we have to stop talking.  
As soon as class ends we all get up and go to lunch. We sit down at our table and start talking. 

Bellamy: So, Who’s coming to senior night on Friday?  
Octavia: I don’t know if I want to go.... I mean it’s not like my best friend, boyfriend, and brother are on the team. Not to mention you’re my ride Bell.  
Bellamy: Ok. Besides you O.  
Jackson: I’ll be there.  
Lexa: Me too.  
Clarke: I’m going.  
John: Yep. I’ll go too.  
Bellamy: What about you, Raven? We know how much you love football!  
Raven: Fine.... I’ll be there.  
Shaw: Me too.  
Bellamy: Great! Now Jackson, talk some since into your boyfriend.  
Jackson: I try my best all the time, but what now?  
Lincoln: He doesn’t want to make his dad come to senior night since he’s not playing.  
Miller: Thanks guys. I appreciate you. 

They smile at the sarcasm in my voice. I look at Jackson. 

Jackson: Why don’t you want him to come?  
Miller: I’m not playing, I just don’t see why he needs to be there. I mean if you don’t want to go, you don’t have to be there.  
Jackson: I’ve gone to every game this season, I’ve already invested too much time into it. I’m going. He’s your dad. He should be there.  
Miller: All it is, is he walks me down the field while they talk about my high school accomplishments. And there’s not many.  
Jackson: There are enough. He should be there.  
Miller: Whatever.  
Jackson: Oh, you’re not going to Whatever me.  
Miller: Ok....  
Octavia: Nate, you’re digging yourself a hole.  
Miller: What?? I can’t play football and I can barely walk. I think a deserve this Whatever.  
Jackson: mhm-huh. 

I smile and he laughs. 

Lincoln: So is my lovely girlfriend going to do what she always does?  
Octavia: I don’t know what you’re talking about....  
Miller: Yes you do. You do it to all three of us.  
Octavia: Yah. I’m sorry, just not ringing any bells here. 

She smirks. 

Bellamy: Don’t worry she took my car and bought the poster board yesterday. I’m also pretty sure she got glitter and t shirts.  
Miller: Oh god.  
Lincoln: We’re seniors, so this is going to be worse than homecoming.  
Octavia: Are you surprised?  
Lincoln: Not really.  
Octavia: Good, because I wasn’t trying to surprise you. 

We talk about how Octavia plans to torture us for a little longer. The rest of the day is pretty boring. I’m talking to Octavia at our lockers, we’re getting our stuff to go home. 

Miller: So who’s going to be on your shirt for Friday?  
Octavia: I haven’t decided yet.  
Miller: I know that’s not true.  
Octavia: Well, it’s a surprise.  
Miller: Ok then. 

We keep talking and laughing. Octavia’s smile fades. I turn to and look behind me to see what she sees. Of course it’s Meredith. 

Meredith: Nathan! You got your cast off!  
Miller: Yah. It makes this a lot easier. 

I slam my locker and link my arm with Octavia’s we walk quickly to the parking lot where we meet Bellamy. 

Octavia: I’m sorry.  
Miller: Don’t be. It’s not your fault.  
Bellamy: What happened?  
Miller: Meredith just won’t stop.  
Bellamy: That sucks  
Miller: Yah. Well I have to get to pt, so I’ll see you guys tomorrow. 

I walk to my car and drive to physical therapy.  
••  
Physical therapy went well. I mean, all it was, was just working to get rid of my limp and get my ankle back to where it was. I go home, eat dinner and go to bed. Everything feels like it’s going back to normal. I really hope it is, I just don’t want to get my hopes up about it.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's senior night. That's the best you're going to get from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this kind of late lol. I'll post one chapter tomorrow because that's the day I'm actually supposed to post but I posted today because I missed a day. But anyway I'm still bad at summaries sorry. Also, sorry this one is pretty short.  
> Enjoy!❤️😁

The game starts about an hour. Senior night is at half time. The players are warming up and I’m on the sidelines. Soon the stands start filling up. I spot our friends. Oh god. Octavia wasn’t lying when she said that she made it worse for senior year. Jackson is wearing a shirt that says, “my boyfriend is on the football team” and it has my last name on the back. Octavia has a shirt that say, “My best friend, boyfriend, and brother are on the football team” with our last names on the back. And everyone else’s shirts say, “my friends are on the football team” they have all have our last names on the backs. Then come the signs. They have signs with our numbers. Well I’m not wearing my jersey, I’m wearing a hoodie, but they still have a sign for me. I sometimes hate them, specifically times like this, but I appreciate them. Octavia and Jackson notice me looking at them and start waving. I wave back and they make their way to the bottom of the bleachers. I walk over to them. 

Miller: I can’t believe you two.   
Jackson: Hey! Don’t blame me. This was all her.   
Octavia: He helped me!  
Miller: Sure....  
Octavia: So who’s going to win?  
Miller: Hopefully we will. I don’t know about the offense, but Bellamy and Lincoln are our best defensive players.   
Jackson: Well, I’ll have no idea what’s happening, but I’m sure it will be great.   
Miller: How do I deal with your disinterest in football?

He smiles. 

Jackson: It’s because you love me.   
Miller: Yah. Yah.   
Jackson: Oh yah. Someone is here for you. 

He looks up at the stands and I follow his gaze. He got my dad to come. I love him. I’m happy he got him here. I guess I thought I didn’t care if he came, but now that he’s here, I’m glad he is. I hug Jackson. 

Miller: Thank you.   
Jackson: Well, it’s not like any convincing was needed. He wanted to come.   
Miller: Still. Thank you. Ok. I got to get back.   
Octavia: Ok.   
Jackson: Ok. Love you  
Miller: love you too. 

I hug Octavia, kiss Jackson and go back to the sideline. The game starts in a few minutes. Our coaches start calling the team in. We huddle up and I just realized that this is the team we played first game of the season. I spot the running back I hit when I broke my ankle. He glares at me and smirks. They have first possession. Bellamy and Lincoln run onto the field and our friends start cheering.   
The game starts. It’s a slow start.   
It’s 3rd down on the first possession and the quarterback finally passes to that running back. I see Lincoln running after him. Lincoln tackles him and I can’t help but smile. It’s 4th down and they aren’t close to scoring.   
They don’t score, Bellamy and Lincoln come back to the side lines. I high five them. 

Miller: Thanks Lincoln.   
Lincoln: No problem. If it makes it better, I’m sure it hurt him more than me.   
Miller: That’s Great.   
••  
The teams parents are making their way to the side of the stands. There’s a minute left in the half. We’re having an extra long halftime so we can still have a locker room talk. The half ends and I go find my dad and we line up with the rest of the seniors to be recognized. 

Miller: Thank you for coming.   
David: It’s senior night. Where else would I be?   
Miller: I don’t know. I’m just glad you’re here.   
David: I just wish you had told me you wanted me here.   
Miller: I know. I just didn’t think it was important since I’m not playing.   
David: It’s still important. 

They call my name. And start listing my high school accomplishments as I walk down the field with dad to join the others. My friends start screaming for me, like they did for Bellamy and what they will do for Lincoln. I have to smile. At the end of the line one of the underclass cheerleaders gives me flowers. Octavia runs down to the field to take, Bellamy, Lincoln, and my pictures. One of all of us and one of us with our parents. After it’s over we go to the locker room.   
••  
The game is pretty much over at this point. We have 24 point lead and there’s a minute left. Thank god we’re winning.   
The clock runs out and we win. We shake hands with the other team and go to the locker room to change. I mean I don’t because I don’t have to. I meet my dad, and my friends and the bottom of the bleachers.   
Octavia jumps on me for a hug. 

Octavia: Sooooo, senior night was great!  
Miller: Yah. I just wish I could have played.   
Octavia: I know. I’m sorry.   
Miller: It’s fine. It’s just this was the team we played when I got hurt.   
Jackson: Really? Wow. I guess I didn’t recognize the jerseys.   
Miller: Yah. 

Dad leaves and we wait for Lincoln and Bellamy. When they come out we all congratulate them. 

Miller: I mean Lincoln hit the guy that I hit so, that was nice.   
Raven: I mean, Lincoln hit a lot of people so you have to be more specific as to who.   
Miller: It’s fine. I know who he was.   
Raven: Ok then. 

We talk for a few more minutes and then we all go home. Well I go to Jackson’s house. We go up to his room and get in bed. He kisses me. 

Miller: Hey. Aren’t you the one that always wants to go to bed and actually get some sleep?  
Jackson: Yes But I promised you later didn’t I?  
Miller: That was weeks ago.   
Jackson: So?

He smirks and starts kissing me again....


End file.
